Submerged, or Sinking?
by Bee-You-Double-El
Summary: Faces from Nick's past resurface, ones that have the power to destroy not only his career, but also his future with Judy, and he is forced to hide the truth from her in hopes of keeping his reformed life in order. Drugs, sex, language. Gets dark quickly, tread lightly.
1. 5:37

**One**

 **5:37**

* * *

I awoke to the sound of construction equipment chewing away the road outside my apartment. My eyes hurt, and I was thirsty for something cold. My alarm read 5:37, twenty three minutes before it was ordered to go off. Good, that gave me some time to sink back into sleep. I could feel my phone vibrating, still in my pants pocket, which was still on me, as I was probably too tired to take them off last night before bed. I managed to get my shirt off, though. I pulled the damn thing out, as it would bug the hell out of me if I left it any longer. Someone was calling; I tried to let my eyes adjust to the sudden burst of light, until I was able to make out that Bogo was calling. I wondered why at this hour, recalling that my shift starts at seven. I answered.

"Hiya Boss, what up?" I asked drowsily.

"Wilde? Where the hell are you? Hopps has been looking for you, and you haven't been answering her calls." He barked.

Why was Carrots looking for me at this hour? And why wouldn't she just come by my apartment? "Ugh… I'm home…? Why, what's going on?"

Chief was silent for a short bit. "Nick, are you alright? Are you sleeping?"

"Well, at this time of day, most animals are." I chuckled.

"Nick, its noon." He said bluntly.

That startled me, like, a lot. I looked at my alarm clock, still displaying 5:37. Clumsily, I climbed out of my comfy-warm tomb and drew back the blinds at my window. Sure as hell, it looked to be midday. Cars, the construction beavers, and noises all helped build the image of a regular Thursday's noon. "Fuck…" I muttered under my breath. "Hey chief? I thing m alarm clock broke or something, I slept in."

"Dammit, Wilde…" he sighed loudly. "Call your partner, for crying out loud. You have a responsibility to uphold." He hung up.

I cursed under my breath, which i noticed was really warm. Quickly dialing Carrot's number, I hoped out of my clothes and ran to the shower, turning it on, then running back to my dresser to get my uniform while I let the water heat up.

Judy picked up. "Nick, don't tell me you were asleep." She sounded pissed.

"Okay, I won't tell you." I chuckled nervously.

"Nick…" she scolded. "I'll be at your apartment in half an hour, and I swear to god if you aren't ready to go by then."

"Right! Right, okay, I'm sorry!" I pleaded.

"Yeah… you better be." I could tell that even though she was mad at me, she was smiling. Please God let her be smiling. I would never hear the end of it if she was _really_ pissed.

Hanging up, with all pieces of my uniform laying out on my bed, I ran back to the shower and hopped in. the water was scolding hot, just the way I like it. I finished quickly, staying long enough only to get the smell of sweat out of my fur. I turned the flow off, and stepped back out into my bedroom. I hurriedly shoved my uniform on, and while I was still fastening my shirt, I jumped to my kitchen and grabbed an apple out of my fridge. They were months old and mushy, but I didn't care.

I was just about to head back to the bathroom to brush my teeth when I heard the rapping on my door. I opened to reveal my partner, Judy Hopps.

"Morning," I chuckled ironically.

Judy pushed past me, letting herself into my apartment.

"So, why didn't you come by earlier?" I asked.

"Something about how you have yet to give me a key could be it." She smiled.

Oh hell yes, she's smiling, I'm getting off easy. "Hey, sorry about sleeping in, my alarm clock runs off potato energy." I joked.

She laughed, opening my fridge and grabbing an apple. She was cute when she laughed. "Yeah, well, good luck explaining that to Chief Bogo. I'm pretty sure he's still looking for an excuse to turn you into a coat."

I laughed, loving Judy's sense of humor. "I'm glad you aren't too upset about your boss pelting your partner." I choked, as I almost said 'lover.' We weren't, but god did I want us to be. Carrots was so cute, and without her, I would still be sleeping under that bridge pulling cons with Finnick. And sometimes, even worse. For that, I owed her my life.

She nodded, almost taking a bite of her apple before she stopped. "Oh hey, McHorn wanted me to give this to you." She reached into her pocket an extracted a folded blue piece of paper. "I'm not sure what it's about, but her said you were asking for it. I took it hoping it wasn't what I thought it was.

It was.

McHorn's wife was a pretty good artist, so when I vented to the fellow officer how I felt about Judy, he must have told her that I would want to come by for a visit, letting her paint me in the nude as a gift to my partner. The paper had his address and a little doodle of a rhino winking. As tough as McHorn was, he loved to kid around about this kind of stuff. But what I was worried about was that he might not have been joking. I crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the garbage, finally fixing my shirt and tie.

Judy laughed, looking at me with that 'What was that about?' glare. "Okay, well. Are you two alright?"

I struggled for some explanation, or a joke or something besides the truth. That was another thing I loved about Judy. Well, loved most of the time, was how honest she had made me. It was refreshing to be clean like that after being so conniving for most of my life. "He wants me to come by for a drink sometime. I told him I don't drink, but he isn't convinced."

Judy walked back out of the apartment, motioning for me to follow to the car. God, she's cute. "You should be nicer to him. He was one of the first to welcome you to the force, if I need to jog your memory.

"I'm not being mean, I just don't drink, that all." I retorted, staring at her ears. That's something I don't do often, stare at her. Usually we're in public, or can be seen by someone, but in situations like this, where it's just the two of us, and she's not staring back, I find my eyes surveying the entirety of her body. Her legs, back, ears, and yes, _her ass_ , was all so perfect.

"Well, what's the harm in going over for a game of poker or something? Humor him, at the least." She snickered, looking back at me, forcing my eyes to lock with hers.

"Good idea, save for the fact I can't play poker worth a damn, you remember?" I said. A few months ago, Carrots took me back to her hometown for me to meet her parents. When we got there, the first thing her father did was invite me to a game of cards. Which ended with me short eighty bucks, and Judy tall three hundred. Be it luck, or skill, she knew how to play. How to win.

She held her head high. "Well, I could go with you, give you back all the money you lose." She turned again and raised her eyebrows.

That could work out, as if there was the two of us, Mrs. McHorn wouldn't be able to get me into the nude. "You being serious?"

"Hell yeah! Why not?"

I thought for a minute. Pros, I got to spend more time with Judy. Cons, if I got caught alone with either of the rhinos, I would unwillingly dive into a conversation about my genitals… yeah, that was defiantly a good sacrifice for getting to spend more time with my little bunny. "Okay, I'll talk to him. Although I couldn't see her face, I could yet again tell she was smiling.

* * *

Judy POV

* * *

We finally got down to the car, and climbed in. I was still holding my apple, but I set it down in one of the cup holders. That was a struggle, trying to get out of that hallway with him. Not that I don't like it when he and I were alone, but when I am, I find myself… fantasizing. I would have to walk in front of him just to keep my eyes off of his ass. I knew that just gave him the opportunity to stare at mine, but at least nick doesn't act all awkward when I catch him looking, unlike myself. That was something I needed to work on, staying focused and not getting embarrassed at natural things like that, Regardless of how perfect it looked. I bet it looked even better bare. My visions stopped as Nick stepped in and sat down.

"Alrighty Carrots, what now?" he asked all coolly.

"We're to patrol the entirety of fourteenth street. And then if nothing happens when four hits, were free to sweep anywhere we want." I responded, starting the car.

Nick sighed. "Hey, I really am sorry for sleeping in, I need to find a way to make it up to you."

' _You could bend me over and go Wilde'_ I thought to myself. Why do I think that, especially when he's right next to me. I hoped that the fur on my face was thick enough to hide my blush. "You could buy me a box of doughnuts!" I giggled.

Nick laughed. "You only eat them because you're a cop and you know it."

"Yeah, but hey I'm the smallest officer there. I gotta fin in somehow." I smiled warmly. I love it when he jokes with me.

"Someone as cute as you doesn't need stereotypes to fit in." He flirted. That's something he doesn't do often. Flirt. The last time must have been a few weeks ago. And when he does, it's usually in a joking manner. But recently, I don't think he's joking when he calls me cute. When it's in public, I hate it, it makes me feel weak. But when we're out of view, I loved it for the exact same reason. It made me feel weak, but weak to Nick Wilde.

"Fine, then how about you actually ask McHorn about taking me to a poker game, because I know you're too sneaky and weren't going to." I flirted back. It was rare we spent time together outside work. It made me sad, but it was true. I would love to just go camping with him for a week or two. To sleep under the stars, bathe in a lake, hopefully together…

"Sheesh," He interrupted my day dream. "I'll ask, I'll ask. I actually thing that he would be happy to have us over. He's pretty nice about all that." He reached in the glove box and pulled out his aviator sunglasses. He looked so cute in them, but to my disappointment, he only put them on his collar. "…And a box of doughnuts." He finished.

I felt like hugging him (as well as a few other things) but I was distracted enough. Fourteenth Street was the second longest road in Zootopia, next to Main Street of course. And was home to two large banks, a gun store, lots of pubs and bars, and a Chuck-E-Cheese's. So, as one can guess, it was no stranger to crime. Usually two squad cars patrolled, but on a week day, we needed only one. When we finally arrived, Nick put on his shades.

"Pull over there." He motioned to a bakery.

"Why?" I asked, forcing myself to stay focused on the road, instead of his adorable face.

"I owe you doughnuts? Don't I?" he smiled at me. I got a tiny glimpse of his face, and pushed it back to its side of the car, blushing again.

"Alright, okay, but be quick." I pulled over, allowing his exit. He jumped inside, and a few minutes later, back out, with a large pink box. "Hey Nick, how many is that?" I asked when he pulled himself back inside.

'Twenty Four. A dozen for each of us. Were here till four, right?" He smiled, biting down into a maple bar.

I smiled at him, driving off the curb where I had stopped. It was about one, so we still had a while to go, but I was with my fox, so I didn't care. "Hey how's Fin?" I asked for no real reason.

Nick flared his nostrils, flinching in defense. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know," I started. "It's just been a while since I saw him." I picked up and bit into a jelly doughnut.

Nick scratched his neck. "I'm not sure, I haven't talked to him in a long time. I'm sure he's doing alright, though."

I nodded. Nick knew I didn't like Finnick, so he hated bringing it up. I knew the two were still friends, so I wouldn't be rude, although I still didn't like it. "Oh. Well, if you do see him, tell him I said hi."

"Sarcastically?" He inquired.

"If you want." I responded, a bit coldly.

"…You know I'm not like him anymore, right?"

"Nick, I know, I'm just worried about you. He's dangerous, and might get hurt someday… and I don't want you to be with him when that happens." I sighed, getting a short bit depressed.

I guess Nick could sense that, so he moved his arm over to my side and rubbed my shoulder. "I understand, but I'm being honest when I say I haven't seen him in a long time." He smiled at me.

I loved it when he smiles like that, I could feel his honesty like a strong heat on my heart. "Thank you." I smiled back.

Unfortunately, Nick withdrew his arm, and picked up another pastry. About an hour and a half later, after more doughnuts, and a conversation about why hip hop isn't what it used to be, we got a call about a robbery at a hotel close by. Nick flicked on the siren and we roared our way down an adjacent street. Eventually, we pulled up next to the Red Lion Hotel, where through a window, I could see a figure waving a knife around. I unholsted my tranquilizer gun, and Nick his Taser, as we rushed inside. Through the doors, a skinny cheetah wearing sweat pants and a beer stained Wife Beater, waving around a butterfly knife at a receptionist sheep.

"Alright, buddy, put the knife down." Nick pointed his Taser at the cat.

The cheetah pivoted quickly to look at us, seemingly surprised. "N-Nicky? Nicky boy, i-is that you?" He stumbled, probably drunk.

"Sonova… Put the knife down Chuck." Nick said firmly.

I looked at Nick through the corners of my eyes, curious, yet knowing, as to how Nick knew this animal.

"Nicky… you don't remember your pal?" the Cheetah asked, dropping the blade. I moved around to his back, grabbed the fallen knife, and began to handcuff him. "You're a cop now? Whoa... heh, this whiskey must be stronger then I thought…" He chuckled.

"Charlie? You have the right to remain silent…" I began, sneaking a glance at Nick. His glasses were off, and he had a upset look on his face. "Everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?" I finished, still staring at Nick.

"Nicky, are you _really_ a cop? Why? I… I don't-" Chuck fumbled over his own words. Nick walked over to the receptionist's desk. As he passed, I looked at him for some kind of a reaction, but he stayed solemn with that disappointed look on his face.

Deciding to stay focused on my job; I led Chuck out to the car and sat him down in the back seat. I opened my computer, and began typing in Chuck's info.

"Nicky… he's… one of you people?" Chuck asked, sounding scared.

I stopped typing. Turning around, I looked him in his eyes. His scared, confused eyes. "Nick is a cop, yes."

"…Why?"

I opened my mouth to tell him that Nick wanted a new life, but I couldn't force myself to say it. All I could speak was; "Well… Because of me…"

He looked back at me. "What do you mean?"

Slowly, I told him the story of how Nick and I met, and how we worked together to stop Mayor Bellwether, along the way becoming best friends. I left out my feelings for Nick, of course, I still didn't even know this animal. And to be honest, I was scared of what he might know about Nick.

I was able to get some basic info from him, like height, weight, and age when Nick walked back out. He wasn't wearing his sunglass, but he was smiling that cocky-laid back smile. That made me less worried, at the least. I headed off for the station the second he stepped in the car.

When we got to the station, Nick escorted Chuck inside, while I finished up the typing on the computer. As long as nick was inside, that gave me some time to wonder what Nick would tell me about Chuck. I knew that we would talk, but I was worried as to what I would learn. This cheetah could be anywhere from not dangerous at all, to some kind of a cult leader. And somehow, Nick was involved.

Half an hour later, Nick walked back out and waved at me. I nervously waved back. He crawled back in and I headed for fourteenth. Again.

"So… who was he?" I asked.

Nick chuckled. "Just some drunk. The receptionist told me he was actually trying to get a room, couldn't pay, and then pulled out his knife."

I was still confused. "How does he know you then? He was depressed at you being a cop…"

"Well, he wasn't always a drunk. He and I used to pull… _stunts_."

"Stunts?"

He rubbed his ears nervously. "Heh, yeah, I used to jump in front cars as they came by, pretend that they broke my arm, or leg or something, then he would ask the driver for cash, stuff like that. I was worried that he would have started telling the whole lobby about that, and you know, loosen my reputation as a good cop." He looked at me innocently.

I sighed in relief. I was happy he was just a scammer, not a rapist or drug dealer or something. "Oh, okay…"

Nick put his hand back on my shoulder. "Are you mad?"

Nick had told me about all most all of his connections, and about how he and them had pulled scams and cons. He never told me he did stunts, but for some reason (and I blame it on his hand on my shoulder) I wasn't mad. "No, but I do want to know," I began slowly. "Is that all you did? With anybody, I mean. Stunts and scams, just cons? That's all you pulled?"

I waited till I was at stop light to ask that, because it gave me time to scan his face. He smiled at me and nodded. "That's all I did with anybody. Just cons." He rubbed my shoulder some more.

* * *

Nick POV

* * *

That was a lie. The real reason I was awkward in the hotel lobby _was_ because I was worried Chuck would start yelling about our adventures. He and I pulled more than just broken limb schemes. Chuck and I met when I went to buy catnip off of him. At the same time, I was being trailed by a gang, who was after Chuck and his money. I pushed him out of the way of a bullet, and in turn, he didn't trough me out in the open as a distraction. Afterwards, we formed a sturdy bond. I told Chuck that I would talk to him later this week, if he would just keep silent about us. He agreed.

I hated lying to Judy. _Fucking hated it_. However, I would damage our friend and partnership if she knew I used to be a pothead. I used to hurt people, not directly, but through my actions, and due to my devious nature. It would hurt her tragically to learn the full story of my past, so that's why I lied. I knew trying to hide the truth would only make things worse, but that was a major part of my plan. To never tell her. If one day we do become a couple, or spouses, or anything else, I would still take my past to my grave.

She smiled and said that she was happy she got to learn more about me. I said I was happy too. At least that wasn't a lie. I pulled out my phone and texted McHorn, asking him if I could swing by tonight at seven. Eventually he responded "Sure thing. Don't bother dressing fancy." With a winking emoji. He didn't know my intentions to bring Carrots he would be awkward and nervous, and that would be the second best part of the night, behind seeing Judy out of uniform. Of course, I would love to see her out of any uniform, but that was for a different time. Hopefully.

"Texting McHorn?" Judy asked.

"Yeah, is tonight at seven okay?" I said, not looking up from my phone.

She laughed. "Hell yeah! Anytime is good to watch you lose in cards!"

I snickered, taking a look at her. "You know, that's no way to treat someone on a first date." I said in a joking manner, hoping to disguise my seriousness.

She blushed. Her fur was a bit too thick to see it, but I could tell from looking at her eyes that she was nervous. "Maybe you should have thought of that before inviting me to a poker game." She joked back. Always quick on her feet, even faster on her mind.

I smiled. Although I woke up late for my second and only chance towards a new life, ate eleven doughnuts and felt sick to my gut, ran into a huge piece of my old soul, and lied to my greatest friend and companion I've ever known, I managed to score a date with Judy Hopps. So yeah, pretty fantastic day, if you ask me.


	2. Stud

**TWO**

 **Stud**

* * *

Nick POV

* * *

"Three Nines." I said proudly, looking dead-pan at McHorn over my cards.

Judy rubbed her forehead. "Nick... you're not supposed to say what cards you have..."

"You aren't?"

"No," Mrs. McHorn chipped in. "that's Liars Dice. We're playing Stud." She wore a disappointed face.

"Oh..." I said slowly. "Then... I..."

Judy coughed, rolling her eyes. McHorn shook his head and took a sip of his beer.

"...Fold..." I put my cards face down on the table and sat with my hand in my lap. Judy was still coughing, but I could tell it was from holding back her laughter. Mrs. McHorn stood up, obviously frustrated. When I showed up at their door with Judy be my side and a bottle of wine in paw, she answered the door in her painting cloths, holding her brush, and forcing a smile. McHorn was just as pleased. He had set out a fancy assortment of cheese labeled with names i couldn't pronounce, and had lounge music playing in the living room.

I didn't know what was up the cheese, or the music for that matter, but I figured that it was some kind of pre-painting ritual. I was still looking for the pentagram with the goat sacrifice on top.

Judy had been antsy for the rest of our patrol, and she had started discussing with herself what she would wear. I couldn't figure out if she knew that I actually intended for this to be a date, but she sure acted as if she did. She had decided to go casual, presenting a green tee shirt, grey skinny-jean pants, and a purple hoodie to highlight the color in her gaze.

I just wore some brown zip up jacket I found on the floor of my closet. It fit me and was continent when i heard the Judy wouldn't get too dressed up. This meant I didn't get to wear a tux.

Thank god.

Naturally, Carrots was kicking my ass. She had the majority of the coins and bills on the table, and even a couple bus tokens I had thrown in to keep me in the game. McHorn and his wife were tired, but I got to spend some time with Judy, so I was having fun.

Even if i was twenty dollars poorer.

"Okay," McHorn stood up, throwing his cards down, and pocketing his remaining cash. "I'm done." He grabbed the bottle that I had brought. It was about half empty, drank almost completely by him. He took a swig and motioned for me to follow him.

Standing up, I took a look at my pile, to see that it was nothing more than a bent paper clip and a crude drawing of a dragon... I think... I had found while desperately digging through my pockets. "Hey Carrots, you said you'd pay me back, right?" I asked.

Judy was counting her winnings, but took the time to look up and shrug at me. Damn, I needed that twenty.

Following McHorn down a staircase, he took another swig and looked down at me. "Why did you bring her?" He scolded.

I chuckled. "Figured you wouldn't try to paint my junk if I brought her along."

He shook his head. "Well, Desire is upset about the whole thing. You kinda lied to her, you know."

Desiree, so that was her name. "Yeah, I am sorry about that. I'll apologize before we leave." I said. McHorn opened a door, revealing a huge room decorated with splotches of paint and large canvases showcasing nude mammals in a variety of positions. I had seen people naked before, of course, but not in the way I did here. Every detail exaggerated, obvious to the fact it was a painting, yet gently implying a touch of realism.

It was weird, to put it in other terms.

McHorn chuckled. "She's good, ain't she?"

I nodded, still observing the nudes, trying to imagine what mine would have looked like.

Excuse me, trying not to imagine.

"Ya know," he muttered after a swig. "If you don't want us to 'paint your junk' as you put it, you should just tell her how you feel. Judy, I mean." Looking back at the officer, I sighed and ruffled the back of my ears.

"It's a bit weird though. I mean, I know that's kind of immature, to be nervous about asking someone out, but here, it's kind of a big deal." I turned back to the room and walked inside. "What with it being an interspecies relationship, and one between a predator and prey. I know Judy isn't closed minded, but I'm... I'm just worried, you know?"

McHorn looked at me with sympathetic eyes for the first time the entire night. "Yeah, I know the feeling." He followed me inside, setting the bottle down on a table crammed with pencils and pens. "When I was in high school, there was this tigress, Jenny, I think. She was cute, and I could tell was into me. But uh... Well I asked her out and she said no, and that a tiger and rhino could never work. Something about size difference and how it would damage her public appearance. Needless to say, I was crushed." He walked over to a painting of a female tiger with brown short-cut hair. "Desiree painted this about a year before her and I started dating. Desiree looks for models, male or female, and pays them to pose. When I saw this in her gallery, I wanted to get depressed, but I couldn't. I didn't care that i once felt for this girl. I had met someone I loved, and that made me happy." He picked the bottle back up, barely sipping it this time. "So what I guess I'm trying to say is that, I met someone who make me not care about past sorrows, someone who I love, and keeps me in the now. I don't care that I wanted to sleep with this girl a long time ago, because I've met that one person who I would die for. And if you feel that Judy is your 'one person' then I'd say go for it. If she makes you forget society's standards, actually ignore what others say, then you've met the right person." He smiled at me.

I was a bit stunned. I had never heard such anecdotes from him before. It was nice to have someone so headstrong open up to me. "Thanks buddy. I'll talk to her." I smiled back.

McHorn laughed, taking another look at the painting, and rolled his eyes back to me. He extended his arm, moving the bottle to the front of my chest. The last time I drank was when i was fifteen, and I had stolen some from the neighbors. It was heavy scotch, and I was stupid enough to down the entire bottle in a short few minutes. I hate recalling the taste the vomit left in my throat shortly after. I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since. I guess it wouldn't hurt to down a small gulp. I took it with shaking hands, knowing full well that this was one of the few moments that something like this would be okay. I quickly swallowed some, trying not to immediately cough it back up in revolt from the taste. McHorn just laughed again, taking the bottle back. He led me back upstairs, where Carrots and Desiree were talking. When Judy saw me, she smiled and handed me a twenty.

"Wow." I said. "I honestly expected you to just keep it."

She faked a hurt expression, glancing back at Desiree, who had just gotten a kiss from her husband. " _Honestly_? I'm offended!" She joked through a smile.

I stared at the bill for a moment. "What about the bus tokens?" I asked.

"Nope." Judy hoped off her chair. "Not unless you drive back home." We had drove Judy's personal car over here, a car that she had constantly stated was; "Such bull to drive." She hated using heavy profanity, which I though was cute.

"If I knew how to drive, I wouldn't need the tokens." I sighed.

Judy, still staring at Mrs. McHorn, smiled. "Thanks for having us over, guys." She waved.

"Yeah, see you at work!" The fellow officer waved back.

"Okay, can I at least get the paper clip back?" I pleaded as we walked out the door. Judy didn't respond after she closed the door, instead walking hurriedly to the car, and climbing in the passenger side. I allowed myself into the parallel, slowly.

"Mrs. McHorn wants a divorce." She sighed, visibly relived to push the stress off of her.

I was stunned, not sure I heard what was actually said. "W-why?" I choked out.

She sighed, scratching her chin. "She says that she caught him... well, yeah... masturbating, to a painting she made. She said she didn't even know if he was drunk."

I started the car, a bit amazed that that would actually happen. I knew full well what painting she was talking about. "Wow..." was all I could say.

"Yeah, Des thinks that he doesn't love her anymore, and that makes her hate him, or something... I don't know. She's just mad, I think." She looked out the window at the house and the lights starting to dim.

"I hope not." I said gently. "... He told me that he loved her. That he found 'the one person' in his life..."

Judy looked at me sadly. "I just hate the thought that something so strong, like what they have could just... end, because of one small detail."

"Right" I agreed quickly, suddenly thinking about Chuck again. Whatever Judy and I have, or what we might one day have, could all be destroyed on his will. It would be that easy for him. I only hope that he still has at least a sliver of respect for me, to not go public with our past. At least i get to talk to him tomorrow. "It's tragic."

She looked at me again, this time smiling. "I still had fun kicking your ass tonight." She joked.

"Yeah well, at least... or..." I couldn't think of anything to retort, as i got a glimpse of her glistening purple eyes, and my blood was making a trip from logic to somewhere a bit more south. She just laughed, reached in her pocket, and set the bus tokens down on the center console.

"Thanks for driving me, _stud_." She flirted, or maybe she was making a pun. Either way, I ginned warmly at her. I figured that since it was a bit late, and we had more patrol duty tomorrow, I could tell her about my feelings then. That made me happy.

Eventually, I pulled up next to my apartment complex, as she needed her car back, and my stop was a few miles before hers. I grabbed my tokens and stood next to the car. When Judy came walking around, she put her hands in her jacket pocket and looked at me.

"Seriously, we need to get you some more practice. I want a challenge next time." She giggled.

"Only if I get that paper clip back." I raised my eyebrows, looking back.

She shook her head, then pulled me down to her level by my shirt, and quickly kissed me. "Sorry, I'm keeping that." She sighed, turning and sitting back in her car. She waved at me as she drove off, which I returned happily.

Wow, for something that lasted a single second, that was pretty awesome.

* * *

Judy POV

* * *

I don't know why i did that. I know, it childish to be all embarrassed about that stuff, but oh well, I guess I'm still a child. I was blushing furiously, and rubbing my ears trying to shake the shame.

Wait, shame? What shame? I did what I wanted to do, I was mature about it, it was amazing... i need a drink. Maybe i had something at home. Hopefully something strong, to send me warm thoughts when I would otherwise just push it aside. It was only Thursday, no time to get drunk and touch myself to my partner, but I don't think i care. Hell, I already miss Nick. I wonder what he's thinking... about me, i hope.

I was able to stay focused on driving, somehow, and i pulled up in the drive way outside my apartment. A few minutes later, I was up the stairs and in my room, digging through my fridge. I finally found a half drunken bottle of whiskey with a note tied to it reading; "Please stop now. ~Future you" I chuckled, remembering just nowthat I wrote that little reminder. I was going to ignore it, of course. I pulled out my phone, screwing off the cap with my teeth, to see that Nick texted me. All he had to say was wow. Just wow. I could tell he liked it, though I was still red-faced.

Jesus, I'm immature. I poured some of the drink into a glass I had laying on the counter, and turned on my TV. Just some news report on a soccer game or something.

After a few sips of the bitter-sweet amber juice, I decided that I was tired. Really tired, and hat maybe I shouldn't masturbate to someone I only kissed. I wonder if Nick does the-

I heard a knock on my door, fast and loud. I set my glass down, muted the channel, and answered. Standing there was a grey-brown fox, about Nick's height, wearing a formal crimson suit over a brisk white shirt. He was smoking the longest cigarette I've ever seen.

"Officer Judy Hopps?" He spoke in a brisk manner, coated with a deep bass boom.

"That's me. How can I help?" I asked politely, taking note of what looked like a gun hidden behind his jacket.

"I'm looking for your... partner, I believe? Nick Wilde?" he pulled out a pocket book and showed me a quick sketch of Nick.

"Uh, if it wouldn't be rude to ask, why?" I spoke slowly, careful of why this man would be looking for my fox.

"I've been trying to contact him for a while. I'm his brother, Jamie H. Wilde." He stuck his arm out, but retracted it before I was able to grab it, opting instead to put the book away.

"You're Nick's brother? It's uh, nice... I didn't know he had a brother." I chirped, happy he wasn't here on violent grounds. I was still curious about his gun, however.

"I didn't know he was fucking a rabbit." He coughed under his breath. Maybe it was the tipsy blood in my brain, but I decided to ignore that one. "Would you be able to tell me where he resides? Or maybe where I can run into him?" He asked, voice back at its fast pace.

"Yeah, sure, he lives at Okenside Apartments, room 407, on Royce Road." I sighed, still eying his firearm.

"Don't worry, I have a permit." He grumbled. "Thank you, have a pleasant night." He coughed again, walking down the hall, hands in his pockets. I watched him strut down to the elevator, nose burning from the stench of the cigarette that still lingered. When he was gone, i pulled my head back into the apartment, taking off my jacket and shirt. I was headed for the shower, but the sight of my phone stopped me. I had another text. I opened it, to see that it was from Nick. "Like, really, that was pretty brave of you. The last time somebody kissed me, i accidentally bit them." He had sent me.

"Hey, do you have a brother named Jamie?" I sent back, starting my shower and waiting his reply.

After a set of minutes, he got back with; "Yeah, why?"

"He came by and asked if I knew where you were. He had a gun and a red suit."

"Yeah, that's Jamie, alright. Did you tell him where I am?"

"Yes and no. I gave him the right room, but the wrong complex. I just thought he might be crazy or something." I finished struggling out of my clothes.

"Yeah, it okay, he's cool. I don't know why he didn't text me, but I'll tell him to meet me somewhere. Thanks Carrots."

I was about to send back something about the cigarette, but i instead slowly said; "You didn't kiss back, you know?" I set my phone down on the sink counter and climbed in the shower. Trying to ignore the urge to see what he responded with. God I hoped things wouldn't be awkward tomorrow.

* * *

Nick POV

* * *

I laughed aloud to her last text, typing back; "It's probably because you kept the paper clip." God I could imagine how cut she was right now. Probably in bed, snuggling close a pillow under her blanket. I was upset with myself that I didn't kiss back, but it was way too short, and like I said, I probably would have bit her nose if I tried to kiss back. When she didn't respond, I decided to text my brother. "Hey man, what's the deal with you asking Judy where I live? You've visited before, right?"

He got back a bit later, when I had decided to boil some ramen for myself. "What?"

"You stopped by Judy's place and asked for my address?"

"Who the hells Judy?" He got back after a longer while.

"The Bunny. My partner." I texted back, suddenly scared.

"Oh that's right, you're a mall cop, right?"

Shit. Who was at Judy's? She said he had a gun. I dropped the spoon I had in the pot and pocketed my phone. I dashed outside, sliding down the stairs and out the front entrance of the complex. I had to get to Judy and ask her exactly what happened. If it was who i dreaded it was, then I'm as good as dead. I decided to run the entire way there, seeing as calling a cab to take me straight north a few miles. As I turned the corner, I saw him. He was dressed in my brother's attire, with the red suit and long cigarette. He was wearing large blue aviators, but I knew who it was. He pulled the gun on me, stopping my sprint. I didn't move, not out of fear, but of knowledge that this man was a deadly shot.

"Hello, Nicky. Miss me?" He pulled off his sunglasses with his free hand.

I sighed, trying to slow my heart rate. "Not much, to be honest. I was happy for once." I huffed.

"Still a sarcastic Prick, huh?" He spit out his dead smoke onto the ground, gently stomping it out.

I wasn't being sarcastic, this new life really _was_ one of the first times I was truly happy. "Yeah. Somethings never change." I said nervously.

He chuckled. And let me say, it's fucking terrifying seeing this man smile. Terrifying. "I know, Nicky, I know."

We stood there for a minute. "Are you going to shoot?" I would have usually said something along the lines of 'You're too tired to shoot?' or something, but like I said, this man scares the shit out of me. I've seen him do _things_ to people. indescribable things.

He sighed. "Nah, it's just to scare the shits outa you. Looked like it worked. Ain't even loaded." He lowered the gun, but my horrible fear would stay as long as he does. "I just wanna talk. Honestly." He smiled what some might have called innocently, if they had been blind and brain dead. The man's smile was so grand and scary that it made all the fur on my body stand straight out. A smile that could cut through steel, a smile so terrifying I had to look away in a desperate attempt to stop my sweat and hyperventilation.

"Okay dad. Let's talk." I muttered, scared shitless.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

K, so first off, sorry for not updating last Saturday, i was busy burning my house down in an attempt to make hard boiled eggs. Happy Easter, mom.

Any way, so I'm planing to make this story ten chapters, each progressively elongating until chapter ten, which will either be huge, with twenty thousand words, or short with five. so yeah. that's that. I've already story boarded most of what happens, so i kinda hate myself.

Shits 'bout to get dark, yo. REAL dark, like when you're making grilled cheese and you keep the sandwich on one side of too damn long. the story will also taste like burnt grilled cheese.

sorry about the spelling or grammatical errors. I'm still in second grade, so go easy.

Penis.


	3. Chuck

**THREE**

 **Chuck**

* * *

Nick POV

* * *

For unknown reasoned he sat dressed as my brother in the seat across from mine. He was alternating from another cigarette to his meal of meat analogue. I had an untouched salad on my plate. It was a quarter to eleven, and Allister Thorn Wilde had taken me to a nocturnal bar run by raccoons. I was at first worried they might recognize me as a cop, but upon my father's entrance, they embraced him as if they were friends, and regarded him as Thorn. The only thing that scared me worse than Dad, was him in the company of allies. His knife cut through another chop, a red solution heightened to taste of blood oozed out of the fake veins and over the side of the plate. It made me sick at how rare he ate his meat. I was no vegetarian, but his food looked like it was fresh off the pig. Thinking about it, that's probably why he ate it like he did. A furious savage drunk with his own drive for food.

I swallowed the rising bile product of that thought.

"Nicky," He looked at me, dragging on his smoke. "You aren't eating."

That flashed me back to when I was a kid, back when this man was what a father should be. Loving, compassionate, understanding, and without crime cartel connections. He would ask me the same thing when I was ten as he did just now. "Why aren't you eating? You don't want your mother to have wasted her time, do you?" That would always make me hungry, the thought of disappointing my mom. This was about three years before I ran away. My father didn't have so much as a ticket for jaywalking then. He was a banker, hiding his laughing eyes behind thick glasses, and strut a thin and fitting suit. He still loved his wife, and his two children, and the most danger he would get into throughout his day would be putting his paw close to the hedge trimmer blades. However, he was burning inside; he would draw to let his frustration out, so that he wouldn't hurt any of us. I've seen his drawings, eerily realistic, seemingly alive, breathing, watching its viewer. When I ran away, I got maybe six miles before he found me. We sat in his car, me in the passenger, he in the driver, talking.

"Nicky... why?" Was all the soon-to-be-monster could choke out, clearly growing aggravated.

I was crying, grabbing at my clothes and ears for comfort I had pushed away my father's hand for. I couldn't tell him what the other scouts did to me. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I've forced myself to forget the rest of the conversation, but from what I remember, he exploded. As I said, the man was a volcano, awaiting its next eruption, and it was long overdue. He eventually hit me, threw me out of the car, and drove off. The next time I would see him was when I was nineteen, shortly after I had met Finnik. Fin had a short temper, but his parents had just thrown him out after they found fake credit cards in his van. He must have been peaking twenty two at that point. Fin and I started pulling what would become our specialty; cons. Scamming people for money from the goodness of their hearts, convincing engineers we were FBI agents so we could steal their plans and circuitry, then sell them to a rivaling company, stuff along those lines. Fin got his little paws on some catnip, and when we burned all of that, he told me where to refill. That's when Allister and I met again. He was running a small drug empire at the back of a strip club, selling as he claimed; "Anything to anyone."

"Nicky, Nicky, Nicky." He chuckled when he recognized me.

I was too frightened to think. "D-Dad?" I choked. He stood up from the chair and hugged me.

"I've missed ya, you little faggot." He grunted. As luck would have it, dad took my running away as a chance to open himself to a new world. He had saved a few favors from some customers, and had started a citadel of crime and drugs. He had dropped his suit and glasses for a slim leather jacket. It wasn't imitation leather, it was real. He went on to explain how he would take me under his wing, teach me how to run his expanding empire. I still knew him as the man who would make me pancakes in the shape of Mickey Mouse every Saturday, so I was foolish enough to say yes. I don't want to talk about what I saw him do shortly after that. Not yet, at least.

Eventually, he got in trouble with the law and had to fly south. I saw him last, maybe seven months before I met Judy.

"Nicky, eat. The fucking. Salad." He glared at me now. I saw from the tops of my eyes that he had a purple scar under his left eye stretching from ear to nose.

I took a slow bit of the salad. It tasted horrible.

"As I was saying..." He ripped off another strip of his pork. "When Chuck called me and told me that you, and fucking _rabbit_ , for Christ's sake, had arrested him, I hightailed my ass up here." He bit his fork, seeming to swallow the entire strip in one gulp. I didn't want to think of how he made it up here in just a few short hours.

"Why?" I asked faintly, not looking up from my salad.

"Oh, you know why." He said in a serious, yet mocking tone. He set his fork down and glared into the top of my head. "Look me in the eyes or I swear to god..."

Although every nerve on my body fought against it, my fear forced me to lift head and look back. Every detail, every sin, every single life this man has directly and indirectly taken was locked away forever behind his violent blue glare. A lake of mystique and angst lay thick under his black pupils, so diligently thin and unmoving it would seem a statue to most men. Not me. This sight was one I would kill to never experience again. I was petrified, locked in the worst situation I could be in. This man was beyond scary; he was the embodiment of sin itself. Those things he called eyes were only portals to what hell I had seen him unleash. He spoke softly.

"Chuck is in jail for three days. If he serves a second longer that that sentence, or if you tell anyone about what he has done, or what you have done, and _especially_ what I've done, I will fucking kill you just how I did Lorene. Do I make myself crystal fuckin' clear?"

I nodded. It was all I could do.

"Good." He smiled that horrible smile again. "Well, Chuck said you would talk to him tomorrow, so you go get some sleep." He stood up, reaching in his pocket. "Oh, and if you happen to see him, tell Finnik I said Hi." He laid a hundred on the table. And with a final smile I could barely see, for I was still locked in glare at where his eyes had been, he left. I felt a tear form and roll down my face, splashing into my salad.

Lorene was my mother.

* * *

Judy POV

* * *

It was about six when I woke up. I stretched as the images of wherever my imagination had just sent me fleeted into obscurity. It was as rainy and grey outside, but that never damped my mood before, so why let it now? I stated my shower and quickly grabbed a protein bar from by cupboard. It was old and a bit stale, but it was the morning. I'm not ready to care about something like that yet. I glanced at the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table next to my sofa, remembering the fox that stopped by my place last night. I checked my phone, and read Nick's message. He had only texted about that damn paper clip, and nothing after that. If his brother had stopped by last night, why wouldn't he tell me about it? He tells me everything. I didn't let that stop me. Today, Nick and I have more patrol duty, right after Nick finishes interrogating that cheetah. I refuse to let what happened yesterday dampen our new day. Our new, gloomy, dark and cold day.

Damn it looked groggy out today.

I slipped off my night gowns and walked into the shower, loving the feeling of the hot waterfalls running down my spine. I was thinking of Nick again. His soft fiery fur, his calming green eyes, his mass-

 _Stop_. I ordered myself, withdrawing my paw from its descent. It's not like I hadn't done something like that before, but right now, I needed to get ready for my job. I decided right there that I would not let things be awkward between Nick and I. Even if I did kiss him and act like a fourth-grader last night.

I finish my shower, drying off a bit violently under my towel, when I see my phone buzz. Benjamin Clawhauser texted me.

"Hey Judy, what's wrong with Nick?"

I was a bit confused. "What do you mean?"

"He called in sick, but his shift doesn't start for another two hours." Ben started work at six, and was always texting me early in the morning about whatever crossed his mind.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, he said he would come in to talk to the guy you arrested, but then he's going home."

I was upset. He wasn't mad at me, was he? "Okay. Thanks Benny."

"No problem, Judes. See you soon." He finished. So sweet he was. Never angry, never violent.

I finished getting dressed, waiting until I arrived in the police station to call Nick. I directed my focus to what I would check out today on my own. The drive over was cold, and I noticed that the apple I grabbed from Nick's apartment was still here. It was defiantly sour and rotten, sitting there overnight. I moved it to the Console so I wouldn't forget about it again. Reminding me about Nick, I started to run through all the possibilities as to why he would skip work. I knew he wasn't really sick, if he was going to show up to the interrogation. I wonder if it relates to his brother, Jamie? A small part of me hoped not. Unfortunately that 'small part' was identified as common sense. He had a gun, and although it is legal to own one, I don't like what power those hand-cannons hold. What they're capable of.

I finally pull up next to the station, exiting the squad car. I feel like i forgot something, but I can't remember what. I have my phone, and my Tranq-Gun, so it must just be the stress about Nick.

Inside I see Benjamin sitting behind his desk, eating a bowl of cereal. Again. "Hey Ben." I call up to him.

"Oh hi, Judy! Do you want some? I have another bowl!" He said happily through a mouthful of milk and sugar.

"No thanks, I'm good." I laugh, trying not to look at him. He had something kind of cute to him. Cute in a "What a cute baby" kind of way. "What time is Nick coming in?"

He swallows and leans over the counter. "He said at about noon, so if you have any work to get done before he shows and you get distracted..."

Wait, he knew? How? I blushed a bit under my fun, i guess by ears tucked down defensively, because when i look back at his face, its ecstatic. "You... know?"

He grinned calmly. "Judy, Judy, Judy... It's obvious. Literally everyone in this building knows."

Oh. My. God. If Nick told everyone that I kissed him... "Did... D-did Nick tell you?"

"No, because I don't need him to!" He leaned back and grabbed his bowl again. "The way you two act around each other, even blind animals can see it." He smirked as he took another spoonful. I was about to ask him what he means, and say that Nick and I haven't been in science the kiss, when the front door opens again. I see a very tired Nick Wilde dressed in casual wear enter.

"Nick!" Ben starts "You're in early, The apointm-" He gets cut off when Nick leans over to me and pulls my face into a kiss. It lasts only a few seconds, but it's pure heaven. I'm not sure, but for a fraction of a second i thought I could feel his tongue tap my lips. When he pulls away, I see that his eyes are bloodshot to hell, he has bags pulling his skin down his face, and his pupils are dilated so large you could drive a semi through them.

I don't think I care. He smiles at me and walks away, probably to find some coffee. I look at Ben, who had dropped his bowl faster than he had his jaw. He looked at me and mouthed "Oh my god." I felt my lips, still feeling a bit tingly from a fox taking over my body, even if it was just for a short few seconds. I smile at Clawhauser, walking past his desk, after Nick. I bet he would hold that face all day.

* * *

Nick POV

* * *

That was fun. I doubt I'd do it if I wasn't on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion, but oh well. I needed coffee badly. After Dad paid the tab and took his depart, the raccoons made it clear that i didn't belong there. I drove home, and inside I found that I had left the stove on. The noodles were black, and all over the wall and floor. Apparently, the stove heated the pot up so badly that when all the water had evaporated, the metal hit it's flash point and lurched off the stove. I opened a window and told myself to clean it up tomorrow. The fear of my father had lingered a few hours after his depart, and my sleep was restless. It must have been two in the morning by the time I fell. I set my phone to wake me up in place of my alarm clock, still proud of it 5:37 status. I called Clawhauser to tell him that I'd be taking the day off. That was a lie. I just really didn't want to fill any reports or something, but I still was going to spend the patrol with Judy. Cute as all hell Judy.

God I need coffee.

Judy bounded up next to my side. "What was that for?" She nudged my arm. I smiled down at her, wanting so badly to fall over on her and sleep.

"There you go. I kissed back." I yawned. "Can I get that paper clip back?"

Judy curled her head back in laughter. "Oh my God! Shut up about the paper clip, will you?" I decided not to ruffle her head, if what this all meant was that we were an item now, I wanted to keep our PDA to a minimum.

Oh yeah, we were also cops.

"Hey, your brother Jamie? Is he alright?" She shifted her eyes to the break room, where I was undoubtedly headed.

I gulped quickly, letting out another yawn to ease the stress creeping back around my throat. "He's fine; he just wanted to say hi. He must have thought I moved, or something. He's always a bit rude, sorry." I stopped looking at her when I said that, out of fear she would look back and see the deceit in my glare.

"Oh. He had a gun you know."

"Yeah, you told me. Its fine, he just likes to exorcise his rights." I still honestly didn't know why Allister dressed as Jamie. Maybe he was in disguise to throw a cop or someone who would have access to his records off? I forced my mind off the subject of Dad. Or Mom.

"Okay... that suit is really stupid." She giggled.

"Right?" I half snorted, half shouted. It didn't look any better on Jamie, now that i picture it. I'm not doing a very good job at this 'other subject' thing, so I speak up. "So any news from McHorn?"

Judy sighed, and we finally made it into the lounge, where I immediately hurried to the caffeine. It was cold, probably from yesterday, or from early this morning, left over by the night shift not wanting to be kept awake all day. I didn't care, to be honest. I just needed a pick up, so I drank what was left straight from the pot. "No, not yet, but I don't see him here, so maybe he's taking the day off too." I was going to correct her final word, but I was too busy swallowing the worst coffee I've ever tasted.

Holy hell I must be desperate or something.

"I think they'd be fine, honestly. It's just a bump in the relationship." She sat down and checked her phone. I put the empty glass down in the adjacent sink. It needed to be put in the dishwasher, but I could barely operate my own goddamn one at home, so I just left it there for someone else to worry about.

"Good. Good." Suddenly out of things to talk about, I realized that Judy's patrol would start soon. She must have figured it out as well, as she stood up and smiled at me. She turned and walked out the door way, giving me a small chance to take a glance at her figure again. Nobody could see us here, if we were quiet...

Well, she left just as I began to welcome the warm thoughts. Nevertheless, I followed her out to the lobby again, watching her swing her keys around on her finger. I saw Clawhauser still sitting there, still glaring at the floor. His mouth was closed, but it was futile to try to hide his shock. He saw me as I waved to him, and slowly raised a paw back. When Carrots and I were outside I asked; "Hey, you wouldn't mind if I came along, would you?"

She blushed. "Weren't _you_ the one that called in sick?"

"Yeah," I started, walking towards her car. "I just really didn't wanna put my heavy ass suit on." I smiled and sat in her passenger seat. Before I'm able to put the seatbelt on, Judy grabs the sides of my face and pulls me into another kiss. Only this time, she doesn't hold back. Every emotion I had suspected she had for me was cascading out of her lips and into mine, fading into lust. I feel her lips part and her tongue gently brush my mouth, as mine just did hers. I return the favor, raising my paw to the back of her head. I open my mouth and let her explore, handing over all control to her. It last for a good while, leaving me horribly disappointed when she broke away. We still held each other's heads, I staring directly into her, and she, gaze quickly twitching, desperately trying to hold mine. She broke the silence.

"Sorry, I-I can't stand the taste of black coffee." She laughed. I did too, letting go of her head. We both sat back in our separate seats, I could hear her insane heart beat over the sound of her breathing.

"So... about the paper-"

"Why do I bother?" She laughed rhetorically, Starting the car. I smiled to myself. I still had to talk to Chuck, but from Judy's display of emotion, I felt pretty damn good.

"Hey, why is the apple still here?" I asked, collecting the rotten fruit.

"Oh," Carrots started. "That's what I forgot."

It was a long wait for noon, but I was with Judy, so I didn't mind. We talked about Clawhauser, McHorn, his wife, and what I wanted to talk about most, us. We had agreed on my PDA views, and she even suggested that we keep it low-key for a while. That surprised me a bit. Judy was never closed-minded, but I learned she feared news that a fox and a rabbit were in a relationship would reach her parents, and start building a barrier. Although I hated the idea, (if a fox and a rabbit can work together in a police relationship, then why not in a sexual _romantic_ one?) I agreed. That made Judy happy.

When twelve hit, Judy drove us back to the station, and came inside with me. I asked her why, and apparently she still needed a few bits of info on Chuck. I decided through angry screams of denial from the back of my mind that I would lie about what Chuck would have to say. We wouldn't be monitored, so I let out a quiet sigh of relief.

In the dimly lit interrogation room, Chuck sat calmly chewing his claws on a log side of a table. He looked ugly as sin, as an alcoholic should after a day with no fix. He didn't look at me.

"I'm still having trouble believing the fact that _you_ , Nicky Wilde, are a cop." He scoffed, still eating his nails.

"That isn't my name, Charlie. It's just Nick." I politely respond, sitting down next to him.

"Oh, fuck off with that." He waved his arm at me. "So you wanna talk to me? Why?" His tone didn't change, remaining at his usual level of scorn and disinterest. I leaned in close to him, trying to keep my eyes locked with his. I was in no way scared of this man; he was as harmless as a dust bunny in a pillow factory. The worst he could do to you was wave a fake butterfly knife in your face and demand a hotel room. He looks back.

"You called Allister yesterday. Right?" I ask.

He slowly nods. He wouldn't flinch at that name like I would. Chuck wasn't scared of Allister. Makes you think he's mentally ill, but in fact Chuck is the smartest man I know. He's managed to stay on Allister's good side for the entirety of their acquaintances. Thorn was the Godfather to Chuck's Fontane, trusting each other with their lives.

"He's here already. And he talked to me." I say as Chuck still sits biting the tips of his fingers. "He said that you and I need to stay silent about everything. You, me, Dad, everything. He says you serve your sentence of three days. No more, and he won't kill us."

Chuck leans back, laughing. "Is that supposed to scare me or something? Nicky, Allister isn't worried I would rat on him, he's my friend." He finally looks me in my eyes. I could see doubt, fear, and loathe hidden behind his orange glare. I hold back my smile, knowing I could get away with this.

"I'm doing you a favor, Chuck! You don't squeal about our old trio, I don't squeal, Thorn wont hunt us down. He's gotten big, Charlie... _Bigger_. And you know he doesn't like drunks."

Chuck looked away, doubt catching up to him. One time my father had slit a prostitute's throat when she hit on him. Our crew tried to convince him that she was just tipsy, and couldn't think right. However, it was fruitless. I'm not entirely sure why Dad went berserk when that wolf started flirting, but he did, saying something slur about drunks. He tore her damn head-

I fight back the fear from the image. Chuck looked back at me, nervously. "Nicky... Thorn wouldn't hurt..."

"He hates you right now, Chuck. He's willing to let you try again, a second chance, but you have to be quiet about all of... _us_." I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. Chuck stared at me for a long time.

"Okay... Fine. I'll stay quiet Nicky... but why, why are you a cop?" He sighed.

I stood up and put my hands in my pockets. "You remember Judy? The bunny?" He nodded. "She's my girlfriend." I smiled and left the room. That word felt good as it leaped off my tongue, 'girlfriend' It felt _really_ good. Speaking of which, I saw Carrots sitting behind a nearby desk with the stag Officer Halatheon. When she saw me, she put a few documents into a brown folder and stood up.

"How'd it go?" She asked through a happy sigh.

"Pretty well. He told me that since my 'departure' from our routine, he's being going downhill. I think he's considering rehab, on the bright side." I forced myself to lie. This was beginning to hurt. I was glad it was almost over, and Chuck would be out of my hair.

Judy nodded. "Good. Hey, I need to run these up to Chief Bogo, so unless there's anything else you wanna do..."

I thought about a lot of 'things I wanted to do.' Halatheon Must have seen the look on my face, as he chuckled, shook his head and walked off. "Uh, nope. Other than sleep." I yawned.

Judy laughed, then put her paw on my arm. I covered hers with mine, smiling down that her. "See ya, Nicky." She smiled back and walked off.

I was about halfway through the parking lot when it hit me. " _Nicky_?" I asked aloud.

* * *

Judy POV

* * *

"you're jumping to conclusions." Chief Bogo counseled. I didn't care though, I was furious. Tears were flying down my face as fast as jets, and my fingers were digging into my temples. The chief put his enormous hand on my back again.

"How could he lie..." I sobbed. I hated that my boss could see me like this, but I needed somebody, and Clawhauser was out in the open. I needed someone to go to. Not Nick. That lying bastard.

He was hiding something from me, but every day he smiles at me, knowing that he's the wiser. We heard a knock on the door. "Not now, dammit!" Bogo called.

"Judy, it's me." I hear the voice of Jacob Halatheon outside the door.

"No, let him in... he heard too." I dry my soaking face with my sleeve, to no avail. Bogo opened the door and in stepped the only other officer to have heard Nick and Chuck's conversation. He was actually the one to set up the bug.

"Judy, Allister Thorn doesn't appear in our records. Uh... well, here." He spoke in a soft tone, never taking his eyes off me. He had set down a paper with the phone number Chuck had requested.

"Listen," Chief started, closing the door violently. "Maybe 'Allister Thorn' is just another stunt man, that's all we know."

I stood up in my chair and yelled. "No! They talked like he was their boss, or a kingpin, or something! Nick said that Thorn was ready to kill either of them." I couldn't stop crying. He had called me his girlfriend for Christ's sake.

"Okay, a stunt man who's gotten big." Chief put in. "The only way we know for sure is if we talk to that cheetah." He coughed.

I didn't want that. If we were to get a confession out of this guy, then we would have to let him go, because if he doesn't... "We can't arrest him. Thorn will kill Nick." I said sternly, stopping my waterworks.

Chief sighed, looking at Jacob. "Let me hear it." Jacob left and soon retuned with a flash drive, plugged it into Bogo's computer, and clicked on a few items. Hearing the conversation for a second time, I started crying again. Chief finished listening to the tape, and rubbed his forehead. "You're right. If Wilde is being serious, then Thorn is a threat." He went on to explain procedure for Chuck, when I interrupted.

"Nick's brother stopped by my place last night." The two looked at me. "Nick was skeptical that his brother would be asking _me_ for directions, and that it wasn't like him. Today he said that... His brother was just 'being rude.' And I saw he had a gun on him." I sighed, burying my face in my hands. They were staring at me, praying that I would continue. "I... I think that might have been Allister..." I choke. Oh, Nick... why did you lie?

Bogo picked up his pen and started scribbling. "Go get an artist." He barked to Jacob, who whispered "I'm sorry..." as he left. Bogo stood up, putting on his jacket and grabbing a tranquilizer gun.

"Where are you...?" I stopped myself when I figured it out.

"Talk to the sketch artist." He told me softly, a rare occurrence with Chief Bogo. "I'm placing Officer Nick Wilde under arrest. I'll bring him in for questioning." He exited, leaving me alone to sob.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

 **Alright, so this is where things go downhill. Not plot-wise (The Walking Dead), but emotion-wise (Sons of Anarchy). K but being srs though, I've got some shit in stock for the next chapter. It's about to get heavy, so tread lightly.**

 **Oh, and Im sorry for hanging up a couple Chekhov Guns and then pushing them aside. Thats what the apple is all about actually, and thus, the cover image. Dont worry, it WILL serve a greater purpose in latter chapters.**

 **Y'all enjoy the Song of Ice and Fire reference? How about the Godfather one? Never mind. I'm actually reading the Godfather right now. It's good. Sorry if you don't care, because now you know regardless.**

 **Uh, yeah I'll save most of "Young Nick Adventures" for the final few chapters, or maybe a bonus chapter detailing his mom, Allister, Jamie, or what the fuck ever I don't fucking know.**

 **Oh, and if it takes me a bit to up the next part, it's because I'm hunting for sasquatch with my seven year old grandpa, and he's a bit deaf. And lame. And blind. But it's okay, because he lets me play his Xbox from time to time if he isn't around or within swinging range.**

 **I need sleep...**

 **Penis.**


	4. Submerged

**FOUR**

 **Submerged**

* * *

Nick POV

* * *

I held the apple in my paw, running my fingers over its rotting flesh. I had no Idea I was doing this, however. I was still in shock, and on the bus traveling to my apartment. 'Nicky' she had called me. She had heard. She knew. " _What does she know?_ " I asked myself, trying to think back to the interrogation with Chuck. I hadn't said too much past Allister's willing to kill us... I had mentioned Dad... does she know Thorn is my father? I choked. When the bus finally met my stop, I exited to stand on the curb adjacent to my apartment. Sitting on the steps next to a black van near the doors, was Finnick. I didn't want to greet him, but something made me, something cold, something angry.

He was smoking a cigarette and rubbing his eyes. His shirt looked like it hadn't been washed in eons, and his shoes were mismatched and tethered together by duct tape. "Hey, Nick." He sighed when I approached.

I took a seat next to him rested face in my hands, elbows on my knees. "Hi Fin." I returned with a sigh of my own. I looked out at the road, with just a blurry hint of skyscrapers between the unpolished slums across the street. "Allister's back." I tell him.

"No shit, Sherlock." He huffs out a lungful of smoke, and hands me the fag, to which I take. "That's why I'm here. We need to talk."

I took a drag from his smoke and nodded my head. "Were you able to get inside, this time?"

He stands up and fixes his shirt. "Naw, but I tried." He turns and walks inside. I stand up after him, stomp out the butt, and followed him inside and up the stairs to my room. "You don't have anything to drink, do you?" He asked.

"If you mean liquor, then no. I have water and some V8 juice, or whatever. That's it." I responded, opening the door. He walked inside, scoffing.

"Jesus, Nick. It looks like the fuckin' gulags in here." He said under a tired cough, sitting down on my only piece of furniture; a brown recliner. I move to my fridge, searching for something that wasn't an apple. "Yep." I confirm.

"Anyway," He starts. "I... I wanna start off with an apology, Nick. For being an asshole when you met Chuck, all the way to just... just completely ignoring you when you became a cop... I was just... Well, fuck..." He stopped, rubbing his eyes some more. I saw the burnt noodles were still on the floor, next to the broken pot. I walked past it and sat down on the table across from Fin's chair.

"It's alright, man. I understand." I truly meant that. Fin was a con man, he taught me his ways, his strategies. Fin was kind to me, and we were the best of friends. When he had accidentally sent me to my father, and I started running around with him, Fin labeled me as a traitor. When Dad had to leave the state for a while, I met with Fin again. He forgave me, but was still cold, then to make matters even worse, I met Judy. She made me a cop, and Fin had completely shunned me. He was here, sitting in my chair, in my apartment now, so he must be feeling better about the whole thing. Not that I was.

"Yeah, I know..." He sniffed. He had started tearing up. "I just don't... you have a good life, man... You and Judy have made the news like a hundred times, I don't want you to throw that away." He wiped his eyes, definitely crying.

"What are you talking about? I'm still a cop." I reassured him, trying to hide my doubt with a chuckle.

"Allister's back." He slowed down. "I don't you to go back to..." He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, sitting upright and looking at me. "I don't want you to go back to Thorn. He's dangerous, Nick. Very dangerous."

I was in a sliver of shock; Fin thought I was going back to my trio. To be honest, I was slightly offended, but I could tell Fin was being serious, and was scared for me. It would be unfair to scold him. "Finnick, you and I both know what my dad did, I wanted out, that's why I-"I stopped myself from telling Fin what I had done.

"That's why you came back to me, right?" He finished. I nodded, pretending to cough. In truth, I had ratted on my dad. I knew I could trust Fin, but if Thorn knew that this fox was hiding something, he would go to full extent and beyond to get that noise form him. I had left an anonymous note at the police station explaining that he was about to attack a man for not meeting payment deadlines. Somehow, Thorn found out that the police were on to him before he even started off for his money. That's why he had to leave Zootopia for a long time. I had ratted my father out to the police.

"Yeah." I finished my reassurance. Fin seemed to believe me. "I'm never going back to Thorn, or Chuck, or anything. I'm a cop now and forever." I put my paw on his shoulder. He placed his own paw over it. Fighting back tears.

"Thank you. Thanks Nick." He smiled blankly. My phone buzzed, and I took my hand off his shoulder. I opened it and to my horror, it was Allister's number. I didn't have time to question how he got my number, or why he was texting, as a loud knock was at my door. I read the message before standing up.

"Nicky the police are after you they know about the Trio." Was all it said. I froze in terror. How did they know? Did Chuck tell them? No, then Allister would be angry, and wouldn't try to warn me. The knock came again, and I heard Chief Bogo's voice.

"Officer Wilde, Open this door now!" He bellowed. I turned to Fin, who was nervously leaning out of the chair.

"Window!" I said loudly, probably loud enough for Bogo to hear. Finnick understood, as he leaped out of the recliner and ran to the window. He burst the lock off and swung the glass pane outward. He leaped out onto the fire escape landing and ran down the steps. I followed, slamming the window behind me. I lurched down the stairs, and eventually down the ladder, landing clumsily in the ally below. As I ran after Fin, I heard the window slam open again and darts from a gun chase me. Fin and I were able to make it around a corner without being hit. I was out of breath, but I couldn't stop running. Fin led me back to the front of the building and hopped in his van. He started it and drove off just as I got in the passenger side.

"Son of a bitch..." Fin breathed loudly, making it out on to the road, heading west. I couldn't think, I just acted as my instincts took over. I reached in my pocket for my phone again and called Dad. It took him a while to pick up, but when he did there was no answer. That's how I knew he was there.

"Thorn! How the... how the hell did... I didn't tell anyone, and Chuck..." I huffed, barley able to think as I tried to slow down my heart rate.

"Nicky, Nicky, I know. It's fine, somehow the cops found out, but you need to listen to me." He was giving directions, and when Allister Thorn Wilde gives instruction, you listen. I didn't, however, as my boss just tried to drug me.

"How did you know?!" I yelled, angry at everything. Did Judy send Bogo after me? Why wouldn't she come herself?

"Shut the fuck up Nickolas or I won't help your fucking ass!" He yelled. I quieted down, letting him proceed. "I have connections. Somehow, and I don't know how, they found out about the trio. That's bad news for all of us, especially you, as my threat about Chuck still stands."

I gulped. Thorn was still going to kill me if Chuck was in the clink for an extended sentence. "I didn't talk, Chuck didn't talk." I said, regaining my calm.

"I know, I know. My resource told me. Listen now, I want you to come to eight forty-one Maelstrom in the Rainforest District. Okay?" He said coolly.

"O-okay..." I stuttered as he abruptly hung up. Fin looked at me; I could see that he was calm now, too.

"Are we going to go meet him?" He asked nervously.

I sighed, regretting my answer before it even left my lips. "Yeah, If we don't, he'll kill me."

* * *

Allister POV

* * *

I paced up and down the hall. I was not nervous, I'm never nervous. I was just angry, and I didn't want to break anything. I have a bit of a temper. I was angry at Judy Hopps, that bitch who'd found out about me. She didn't know I was here, however. This house was not mine. It was one that I... acquired... back a few years ago. It was a nice place, side from the faggy wallpaper decorated in flowers and rainbows. In the bastard owner's defiance, she was probably a woman.

I heard footsteps, followed by a bottle of champagne opening. I turn to see Lorene standing on the top of the staircase, crowning herself in an elegant purple dress highlighting her brilliantly crafted orange fur. She was beautiful, her magnificent cobalt eyes drifting from her bottle to her husband. She was smiling, letting loose a burst of warmth, allowing full passage into my soul, to stimulate by every nerve. She was perfection. _Simply_ , perfection.

She began her graceful descent down the stairs, still smiling her majestic whimsy into my heart. She landed on the final step, setting her bottle on the flat bed of the railing next to her. I smiled back, intoxicated by her beauty, and swam to her position. She smelled of autumn; cinnamon, with the hint of twilight on a golden breeze. She passionately wrapped her bare arms around my neck and pulled me into a kiss. Her breath tasted an explosion of minty blue salt, like a brush of wind over an ocean in the bright silver of night.

 _Simply_ , perfection.

I broke the kiss, placing my cold hands on her hips. She looked at me with disappointed eyes, she missed me. I missed her.

I was nowhere the stairs when I opened my eyes. I was on the couch, still dressed up as my son. My phone in one paw and a smoke in the other, I looked at the clock. It was only one forty five. No time to be having wet dreams featuring the wife as I had once known her. I felt a tear sprinting down my cheek, but I wiped it away, forcing myself to ignore my lust beating against my logic. I had a job to do. I had to convince myself not to kill my son.

It's that damn rabbit's fault. If she had never come along, Nicky would still be the crook I raised him to be. Hell, I was proud of that little shit up until I saw he was a cop. I never went after him for that, of course. I was still in hiding. Judy Hopps? That was her name, yeah. If she had just Nicky the hell alone, I would have come back to him. We would still be running the Trio. That was fun. Chuck had come out of state once or twice to see me, but it wasn't the same without the constant nervous glance over the shoulder from Nicky.

My contact even told me that she was the one that had eavesdropped on Nicky and Chuck's conversation. She knows who I am. Not _where_ , fortunately. I know Nicky has the ability to tell her, but that means I kill him. And I know that Nicky's too chicken shit to take that risk.

My head hurt. I hated myself for all this, I wanted my Nicky back, but I was willing to kill him too? Jesus I miss him...

No, I miss Lorene. Not my Idiot son.

I run a few plans through my head. Heading out of state in hiding wouldn't be worth it, and I doubt Nicky would want to reunite the Trio, especially with the cops trailing him. If we stayed on the down low for a while, they would eventually find us, but if my contact could throw them in the wrong path for a bit, we could make it out of his. He would want more money, but that was understandable. I had plenty to spare.

However, the police needed to know that Nicky was dead if Chuck stayed caged any time after noon tomorrow. They would follow Chuck, interrogate him, but if there was one thing I could thank Hopps for, was that I know she would fight to keep Nick alive.

With my son's life under the will of wanting to stay away from the cops, I had the greater hand.

I turn my phone on and call my contact. He would need to hear the plan, I would need his help.

"Yeah boss?" He asked when he picked up.

"I require another favor from my favorite double agent." I smile, dragging my smoke.

"Shit," I hear him laugh. "My wallet's a bit lightweight; I think I'll just go to the ATM instead."

"Okay, okay," I start after a few smoke rings. "Seriously though, four thousand."

I could feel him stop doing whatever he was occupied with. "Four? What's up?" He asked through the fresh layer of surprise in his voice.

"Are you in a closed environment? Is this being tapped?" I ask sternly, ready to hang up and throw the phone out the window. It doesn't destroy the line, but it does misplace the signal.

"Yes and no. Shoot" He said. I believed him, as he trusted money. A man who trusts money over his career is a man I trust. And I was offering a lot of money

I twirl the smoke around in my ringers, testing the head on my thumb. "You told me you guys are out to get Wilde, which I appreciate, thank you." I took a quick drag. "First off, I need you to make sure Chuck isn't followed, or trailed, or kept any longer than he needs to be. Okay?"

"Done."

"Good." I stand up, and move over to the stairs. "Second, Judy, as well as the rest of the ZPD needs to understand that I have Nickolas Wilde. If they do something I don't like, in regards to Chuck, Nicky or I, I will not hesitate to kill him." I ascend the stairs, swiftly dodging the wall at the sharp turn.

"Okay. What else?" He asked.

I made it to the top of the stairs and at a door. I opened it and walked inside. "Make sure that the ZPD keeps chasing red herrings across the city. _Away_ , from Chuck and I." I enter the room devoid of any furniture or decoration. I move to the large window, revealing a fantastic view of the entire Rainforest District. In the distance, the central of Zootopia poked above clouds like a small island out of icy water. "... And Nicky." I add.

"Keep the heat off Chuck, remind everyone that you have the power to kill Wilde, and let loose some wild geese. I understand." He repeats confidently.

"You'll be paid in a month, after Chuck and Nicky make their amends and hide away with me." I heave in another breath of smoke.

"Alrighty. I'll get right on it." He said, hanging up. I send my phone back into the dark depths of my pocket, still staring out my window. I saw the express train arrive at a station. Nicky would be on that one, if I'm lucky. I'm tired of waiting. I'm usually patient, but Nicky needed to hear about all this. He needed to hear the rest of my plan. The part only he could fill. Not some double agent inside a police prescient.

He would not like it, but it had to be done. He would know that. He would know that I would do it if he didn't. That would be risky, for me to take upon this action, thus why I needed Nicky. He would understand.

Better he do it than me.

I open the window a crack and toss the butt out. It was so goddamn wet here I wasn't worried about a fire. I run through my plan again, thinking of how I would tell Nicky. He was scared of me, which was a good thing, but I'm worried he might be too scared. He can't even look at me without tearing up. I would have to be cordial with him. He would hate it, but if he really was on his way, then he knows he needs my help.

Or he's worried I'll kill him. Good.

No, not good, I need him on my side for this. I know he would do it. I know it.

I could break him yet.

* * *

Nick POV

* * *

As Fin and I stepped out of the cab outside what my dad told me was his location, I began to feel regret. Finnick must have sensed this. "Nervous?" He asked, genuinely wanting an answer.

"Well yeah," I sigh. "I'm about to go reunite with the man that fucked my life worse than you did." I force out a joke, chuckling through a terrified expression.

"Beats the alternative." Fin shrugged.

"And what's that? Turning myself in, and living in fear that Thorn and Chuck come back to kill me?' I ask, to which Finnick returns with another shrug.

Allister's house wasn't too bad; it looked clean, and wasn't too covered by greenery. I saw a huge window on the top floor, exposing the rest of the district. It wouldn't be too bad of a place o settle down and hide, if it weren't for the monster dwelling between its walls. Finnick takes point, obviously not as scared of Allister as I was. He knocks on the large oaken door, which swings open to reveal Thorn, still dressed in Jamie's attire.

"Nicky." He smiled warmly. God I wished he would stop doing that. Fortunately he redirects his attention when he spots Fin. "Finnick..." He grunts. Thorn never liked Fin, as I had chosen to break the Trio and run back to simple cons when Allister had to flee.

"Thorn." Fin shot back with an icy glare. I was worried that Allister might do something to him, but although they didn't like each other, I doubt Thorn held a _hateful_ grudge for my friend. Just displeasurable.

"Come in." Thorn turned and strode into the house. Fin and I followed reluctantly. He leads us to a social room, and sits down on a chair, motioning for Fin and I to sit on an adjacent couch. He had a small backpack at his feet. I sat down, avoiding eye contact. Fin did the exact opposite. He remained standing, and shot Allister an anxious glare.

"First off, Nicky." He kept his attention on me. I noticed his gun was no longer in his belt. "I am fully aware that neither you nor Chuck squealed. Okay?" He opened his hands, extending his arms like he wanted a hug. I didn't move.

"Okay?" He growls.

I swallow my fear, actually trying to relax. "Okay..." I mutter.

"Good. Now, I know what's going on, okay? The ZPD are after you and I, but..." He rolls his hands engaging me to finish his thought.

"If they keep Chuck, you kill me." I finish. He nods, and Finnick throws me a worried glance.

Thorn tosses me a cigarette. "However, I don't want to kill you. I honestly don't." He lights one for himself, and then tosses me the lighter. "I mean, I will, but I'll be upset about it, ya know." He laughs.

"Get to the chase, please." Fin sighs.

Allister glares at him without moving his head. "Shut up, little man." Back to me. I accentually look him in the eyes, and for that second, I heard my mother's screaming. "It's fucked, Nicky. You know it is."

I start my smoke, and toss back the lighter. "What is?" I stutter.

He groans. "You're new life. Okay? It is, and you know it." He blew out smoke towards me. "It started off submerged, but its sinking, and its sinking fast, Nicky..."

I looked at him, curious as to what he had just said. "What?"

He rubbed his neck, impatiently. "It's a metaphor, okay? Everyone is in the water, right?" He leaned in close to me, resting his arms on his legs. "Some people are floating; some are swimming, but you. _You_ , Nicky, are sinking. You can stay submerged forever, but for how long can you sink until you drown?" He smiled, and for the first time since I ran away from home, I looked into his eyes, and took back wisdom. I was no longer scared; somehow a simple sentence had cured me of my fear. Fin stayed alert, however.

Thorn looked at me. "You're right..." I grumbled, remembering who I was talking to.

"Nicky," He leaned back. "I can help you. I can send you somewhere where you'll float. For the rest of your life, okay? You following?" I nodded.

"You're too far under to resurface now, not here. I can send you out of state, alone." He looked at Finnick. "I know how much you hate me, and that's fine. When I send you out, you'll be gone forever, and you will _never_ hear from me again." He sighed.

I thought about it for a minute. It would mean I leave everything behind; Fin, my career, my friends...

Judy...

I couldn't do this to her. Well, any more than I already did. She probably hated me, I lied to her, and if the police are after me, then she must be after me too. The ZPD was her entire life, and everything she ever wanted for it. I had almost taken that away from her once, and by me lying to her, I had damaged the only other thing she cared about so deeply.

Me.

I would never be able to return to Zootopia, but maybe that's what Judy wants. Maybe she wants me behind bars; I doubt she would be fine with me hiding away until Thorn goes back under the radar. Hell, the only reason the ZPD is even tailing us is because of what I did years back. If Allister had just taken a day to get back to Zootopia instead of a few hours, Chuck would have been dealt with, and Judy and I would be laughing in the squad car right now.

All this isn't Dad's fault, however. It was mine. I had lied, and I've hurt people because of it. That was inexcusable. Maybe it isn't what Judy wants to happen, but with my leave of this city, it's what I deserve.

I look at Allister and sigh. "Where?" I ask.

"Somewhere warm." He says calmly. I have to struggle to see the monster I knew as a teenager, now I start to see my father again. He was doing this for me. He would still kill me as fast as a heartbeat, but he wanted this for me. To keep me safe. Even if it _was_ ultimately for his own protection.

"Okay. Let's do that." I slowly confirm.

Finnick looks at me, shocked. "Nick, What?"

I put out the cigarette in the ashtray in front of me. "It's what best Fin. I'm not going back to what I was, you know that. I'm probably not even an Officer anymore. This is what's best." I say to him as Thorn gets a text message.

"Listen, Finnick, please step outside for a moment. I need to speak to Nicky privately." He says, serious.

"What!?" Fin yells. "Hell no!" He lets his arms fall and end in tiny fists. I stand up and in front of him.

"Fin, please, I just need to talk to him." I say. He was looking past me at Allister, who was still sitting calmly, looking at his phone.

"Nick..." He looked at me.

I back up a bit. "Let's just talk when I'm done here, okay? Please?" I slowly sit back down. He stutters a bit, before putting his hands back in his pockets and walking back out the front door.

Allister pockets his phone and return attention to me. "If you want this Nicky, I mean _truly_ want this, you need to do me a favor."

My high spirits dropped. Favor? What was he going to make me do? "W-what favor?" I mutter, growing scared again.

"Something only you can do." He picks up the backpack and sets it on his lap, digging through it. "You need to cut the final string tethering you to this wretched city. " He pulled his piece out of the bag and set it on the table next to the ashtray. "Only you..." He repeated, setting the bag back down.

I slowly pick up the pistol and hold it in both hands, fear skyrocketing. I had never shot someone before, I had seen Thorn do it plenty of ties, but I had never even shot one. "Who..." I knew who, but I asked anyway, just to have someone other than my fear answer.

"That Rabbit you're fucking." He said. "Without her, the heat will clear off Chuck and I, and instead go to some burglar who broke in and shot her."

I struggle to hold on to the weapon, wanting to cry, wanting to scream. This man didn't want what was best for me, he just wanted the Police to hunt me down in another Country so that Chuck and him could grow big again.

The gun wasn't loaded, he must have thought I would get angry and try to shoot him. He though ahead. He was being honest, however. Only I could do this, if he wanted to get back to the top.

Judy was the biggest boulder in his way, and I was operating the goddamn bulldozer.

Then I realized; he hates Judy because of me, and what she did to me. I was the bulldozer, and the boulder.

Still, he was willing to save me if I shoot her.

If I shoot Judy.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

 **Sorry if this chapter was a bit messy, I didn't really have much time to iron things out, with it being Easter and whatnot. My family has been singing and dancing all day. :/**

 **Nothing wrong with that, but it's just a bit distracting.**

 **So yeah, the Apple is still making progress to becoming an actual plot point, wish it luck. Some shits about to go down in chapter Five, so if you hate this story already, you're gonna despise the next bit.**

 **Allister's point of view was a nice twist, eh? I wanted to have a small bit of sympathy directed to him, not enough for his actions to be justified, but enough to have readers (you) go "Oh!" Ya know, because it's just too cliché to give him a mental disability, and not cliché enough to make him completely diabolical with no structure to his persona.**

 **I don't know if I've said this before, (I'm too lazy to go check) but I'll explain everything the "Trio" did in the final chapter, which I no longer believe is going to be the tenth, it might come sooner. Still have a lot of shit in stock, however.**

 **K so imma go watch some Futurama, it always makes me happy. (Seriously, I've been depressing myself thinking about what comes next; so don't say I didn't warn you)**

 **Happy Easter to all of you who celebrate it.**

 **Penis.**


	5. Sinking

**FIVE**

 **Sinking**

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

 **K this is where shit gets dark. Please be cautious, this may be disturbing for some, if not most, people.**

 **You've been warned.**

* * *

 **Allister POV**

* * *

"I'm only going to ask this once more, Nicky." I announce loud and clearly as I grab her by the muzzle.

"Where."

I force open her mouth.

"Is."

I insert the large metal bolt to jut out of her lips, held in place by her molars.

"The."

Nicky was screaming as I flicked on the switch cueing the generator.

"Fucking."

I clicked the Jumper cable on a metal rod near the side of the generator, sending sparks whizzing through the air.

"MONEY!?" I yell, grabbing her by her hair, pulling her head back closer to me. I held the claw next to the bolt.

"Okay! Okay!" He screamed, on his knees in front of me. The red fur on his face had grown brown with all the tears running down it. "I told Michael to keep it... He still has it..." He sobbed. "Please... don't..."

I smile at him, knowing in full how much he despised it. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" I let the claw bite into the bolt. She never woke, never screamed, and just remained limp in her chair. Lorene was dead within seconds.

* * *

 **Nick POV**

* * *

I sat on the outside of her apartment, resting the backpack in my lap. Inside; the gun, a pair of gloves, and an extra clip. Dad told me to rough up the place before I shoot her; to further impose the idea that it was just some burglar who'd shot her.

I hated myself for all of this. I hated who I was, who I was about to become. I had cried the entire way over here, but my eyes were still flowing wet, as if I would never run out.

There was a parade of emotions being slaughtered in my mind, in preparation for what I was about to do. I couldn't even see through my tears, but regardless, I stood and shook the vacant soot off of myself. I straightened my back, fruitlessly wiped my face for tears, and held the backpack limply at my side. It was heavy with the pistol, and my soon-to-be dismantled soul.

I stood in front of her door, and knocked. A few seconds later, it swings open.

Judy is standing in a pair of torn blue jeans, white around the ankles and knees from wear. Her shirt is loose and baggy; depicting what looked like a sunset past my blurry vision. I could sense her tension by the way her ears drooped upon the sight of me. She was holding a glass full of what I knew to be whiskey.

She was so beautiful...

"Hey, Carrots..." I sniffed, straining a helpless smile. She studied me up and down. I was a mess; my fur matted and unwashed, clothes reeking of smoke, and a face a frazzled bust of defeat to tie it all in.

"Nick..." She whispered softly. "Are you okay?" She asked with a compassion I wasn't sure was faked or not. She sidestepped, allowing me entrance to her abode, and closing the door behind me. I dropped the backpack at the curb of the wall. "You look like shit." I heard her say, with a sudden chill to her voice. She usually hated language that powerful.

She probably hated _me_.

I tried to hold back enough of my tears to see her, but my emotions remained obstinate. "I am so... so sorry... Judy..." I shrugged my arms to fold, giving up on wiping my eyes. She had moved behind me to her couch and sat down, patting the seat away from her, exposing a cushion between us. I seated myself and she spoke.

"Listen Nick, because I want you to understand damn clear. You know I hate using this kind of language, but it's damn well effective. You fucked up. You fucked up _badly_. I don't even want you to apologize; I just want you to know how badly you fucked your life up." If the fact my father wanted me to shoot my girlfriend was a knife to my heart, Judy's words were the twist. I would have cried even harder, if I hadn't already been aiguille. The sound of her soft voice being used as a weapon wielding such venom was excruciating. I hated myself, and that's okay, I just didn't want Judy to hate me as well.

... She did, and I couldn't change that.

"I don't even know why you would keep something like all this a secret from me, Nick... From your goddamn girlfriend? I don't understand, Nick. Why?" She shook her head, taking a sip from her glass.

"Because... I didn't want you to know that I was this bad of a person..." I sniffed, running my hands over my head. "I didn't want you to know that Nick Wilde helped hurt people way back when..." I didn't bother looking back up at her. She must have been rolling her eyes in disgust right now.

"Nick," She started, shifting her seat. "You know I wouldn't care about that, right? You reformed yourself, and I know you to be a good person..." She sniffed. I wonder if she's crying too. She did say ' _know_.'

"I should have... when you and I met Chuck..." I confessed. I decided that now was the time to inform her. I would need to tell _someone_... "Chuck, Allister, and I had what we called the "Trio". It started when I reunited my father after I ran away... I was going to go buy..." I swallowed whatever pulp of dignity I had left. "Catnip. Allister had taunted me, called me a 'faggot.'" I choked, hating the sound of that poison exiting my throat. "He uh, said that he had run out, and sent me to a guy named Charlie." I straightened my back, sitting up and attempting to look at her. Her eyes were staring at her drink, and full of what I hoped was understandment.

I rubbed my neck. "I went to go meet Chuck in an ally, but this gang of tigers had followed me. They shot at Chuck and I, and..." I coughed, trying to clear my throat.

"Allister... he's your father, right?" Judy questioned in her interruption.

"Allister Thorn Wilde." I confirmed sadly. Judy didn't seem too surprised. "Anyway, I pulled Chuck out of danger, and helped him escape." I sighed. "He escorted me back to Dad... _Thorn_... and told him what happened."

Judy was listening; she had stopped drinking, and was looking at me with what I _knew_ to be compassion. "Then you formed the ' _Trio'_ , right?"

I nodded, looking away from her and into my legs. "Allister was impressed. He suggested that the three of us work together. I didn't know who... well, _what_ Thorn was yet, so I agreed." I forced out a sorrowful chuckle. "Finnick was pissed...We did horrible things, we stole, we conned..."

She was slow in her question. "Killed?"

"Only Thorn..."

"... Rapped?"

I looked at her, hoping for her to see the truth swimming circles in my blurry eyes. "...Only Thorn...He was ruthless, he led a three man mafia... only... even more violent..."

She interrupted me, voice completely devoid of scorn. "If Thorn was the one who did all of that, what did you and Chuck do?" She set down her drink to lay her hands folded in her lap.

I remembered aloud that Chuck was the man you went to if you needed an object, like a gun or a needle. I, naturally, was the stunt man. The one who'd break his leg if it meant his wallet gained weight.

"Allister got angry once... I watched him kill this drunken prostitute... and I uh... well, I got angry, or scared, right? So I went against him. I told one of his clients to keep his money he was going to leave at a drop, and just run. When Dad found out, he attacked me, demanding to know where the cash was. He..." I remembered the face of my mother, limp and unconscious, sitting tied to a chair with a bolt protruding out of her mouth like a flagpole out of concrete...

"He murdered my mother, r-right... oh Jesus..." I cried wistfully, grabbing and tugging at my ears in faith to stop the boisterous memories of electricity and fire crackling, of my screams as the claw of the reaper slit her throat and absorbed her essence, dissolving her to oblivion. She was still unconscious, she would never wake up to experience her own body scourging with unfathomable heat-

Judy embraced me in a hug, covering my body around hers, dipping her face into my neck. I hugged her back, copping her head's motion. It felt so horrible to tell someone what I had kept repressed inside my mind for so long... It felt so horrible...

Judy... Judy made me feel happy, made the pain a bit more bearable... she was there for me... she cared for me...

Oh god... Am I really about to do this?

I wanted to tell her so badly that I loved her, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't force myself to. She gripped at by back and shifted so that she was practically sitting in my lap. "Nick..." I heard her cry.

"The day you... The day you met him, he came to me, and..." I was slowly regaining control of my sobs. "He threatened to kill me if I told..." I stopped myself, feeling that I had told her enough for her to remember. After I did this... Oh lord... "I'm so sorry I lied. I'm so goddamn sorry..." I feebly whimper.

Judy took a deep breath and pulled out of the hug. I had almost stopped crying then. "I know." She said before slowly pulling me into a kiss. It was long, the longest we've had, and she was completely in control. It was euphoric to say the least, Judy taking point more passionately and with more drive than she had in the squad car. I let her push her glorious path into my mouth, while I wrapped my arms around her body, pulling her close to me. Her paws move from my head to my shoulder and chest, tugging and rubbing as they made their descent. Our paws were moving all over each other, feeling ourselves, almost drowning in the feeling of pure bliss. I tried to push the remembrance of Thorn's gun out of my head.

We sat there in each other's arms for what felt like hours, exploring the other's bodies and mouths until Judy broke our embrace. "Nick." She stared into my eyes, and I did her. She had a glow of absolute passion, a serious tune of strength and mental vigor. "I won't let Allister kill you. I'll die before I let him."

I wanted to scream at her, push her off of my lap and yell to her about how that's what he wanted to happen, but I held myself back.

 _I'm the bulldozer._ I reminded myself. _And the boulder._

"Judy, I... I..." I still was unable to speak the truth of my love to her. I stared into her eyes, but I could not force my soul to speak what my heart was shrieking. "He told me... that my life is sinking. I can try to fix it, but all I have for it is lies. I... I don't want to force you to sink with me..." I start to tear up again.

"Stupid fox." She chuckled. I look to see her warmly smiling at me. "You know how to swim, right?"

I force myself to chuckle back. "I think so..." I pathetically murmur. She kissed me again, and leaned into my ear.

"In the morning, we'll go tell the rest of the police about Thorn, okay?" She hugged me, sharing her warmth again.

I nod through an expression of pure sadness, fully aware that I had to do it tonight. Would she let me sleep here? I need some sleep before I-

"Judy... I love you." I hug back, praying that she returns my affection.

No. Praying that she _didn't_ return the affection...

She pulled back to look at me, tears welling in her eyes, now, and an open smile sprinting across her face. "Oh Nick... I love you too." She smiled, brushing away a tear on my face.

I couldn't accurately describe my burst of emotions then; a beast of pure happiness and sorrow, of warm and cold, golden red and molding blue. I wanted to hear those words, but I hated that I heard them now. I hated myself for telling her, yet I loved that she felt the same for me. I loved Judy, but I don't know If I want her to love me back.

 _Of course you do/don't!_ My lust and logic scream respectively. Both thrashing at what I want and what I need, killing-

Fuck it. I loved Judy. She loved me back. After tonight, I'll have done something horrible to someone I love, and who loves me in return, but in the end, it was for their own protection.

Judy would live, and I would be dead. This was for her, the one I love.

And the one who loves me in return.

I might as well love her all I can now, as it's my last night alive.

* * *

 **Judy POV**

* * *

Nick exploded in happiness just then, grabbing and kissing me rapidly, shouting his excitement in short, brute laughs. He finally settles on grabbing my back and kneading his neck against mine. I happily grip his arms, feeling his tears run down onto my shoulder.

"Thank you..." He laughed through his sobs. I found it funny that he was thanking me.

However, I really did love him. He helped sculpt my career, he was there for me when no one else was, he's funny, clever, and drop-dead sexy. He was honest when he said he loved me, and I was honest when I said the same.

I don't know if I could ever forgive him for lying in the first place, but I understood why he did... at least when Thorn showed up. According to Nick, Allister was ruthless, and was ready to kill him.

It never occurred to me until later that night to ask Nick if his father knew he was here. I was too busy ogling over our love.

 _Our love_? God I was getting corny. In the end, that's what it was. Nick and I shared a bond, plastered even sturdier by our confusions. He and I loved each other. It was blissful.

I remembered he had told me that he was 'sinking' and he didn't want to drag me down with him, but I figured that I would die before he does, and I meant that. If I needed to show what Nick meant to me, I would not hesitate to jump in front of a gun. As opposed to killing myself, Nick and I were to visit the precinct tomorrow and talk to the chief. That's when he wouldn't sink anymore. He would swim, and I would swim with him..

 _He loves me_! My brain shrieked contentedly.

"Yeah, don't mention it." I joke to him, glad that we finally returned to our easy-going nature. He laughed, and pulled away, wiping his face.

He smiled at me. "Thank you, really... for talking to me." He set his paw on the side of my face.

"No problem, babe." I laugh as I stand up, taking my drink to the kitchen. I suddenly hated the thought of drinking it.

"Carrots," He began, obviously eccentric to be calling me that again. "You wouldn't mind if I slept here tonight, would you?" I glanced at the timer on my stove; presenting boldly that it was well past eleven at night.

I turned back to him and smiled. "Only if you take a shower first, you smell like rotten fruit, or something." Nick laughed at first, but then stuck his hand inside his jacket pocket and extracted an old, rancid apple, the same one I left in my car.

He scoffed when he saw it, and set it down on the table. "I don't know why I still have this thing..." He chuckled, standing up. "But yeah, I can take one really quick... wanna join?"

I looked up to see that he was smirking at me through a dying expression of guilt and fear. I don't think he was joking.

I wouldn't let him be joking, anyway.

"Sure." I shoot back to his flirt. His infamous smirk drops to a shock, as he probably wasn't being serious. Was I?

He captures his grin again, and walks into the bathroom. A few seconds later, I hear the shower water spurt on, and Nick's laugh. "You know, I'm gonna get lonely in here!" he calls. Something in my head told me to back off, while something else, something much softer and pleasuring, urged me onward. I slowly take a step towards the door and peek inside.

Nick was still clothed, just then wrestling his shirt off, when he saw me and smiled. "I won't do anything to weird, I promise." With that statement, he started to unfasten his belt. I pulled out from the frame way, quickly closing the door. My face was burning red, and my mind was silently screaming at my decision. I expected to hear him laugh, but there was only the noise of running water behind the door.

God, I'm stupid. I don't think we would have done anything to sexual, beyond share a shower. However, that was presumably part of the problem. I wanted something a bit _more_ sexual. I wanted to be in a situation like a shared shower, but stronger. Why wasn't I taking charge like I always had?

The door opened again and Nick wrapped his head around the frame to stare at me. "Seriously, get your cute little ass in here." He pulled backinto the room, leaving the door ajar.

The aforementioned 'something' in my head telling me to back off shriveled to a pulp as I shrugged. I moved into the bathroom and saw a blurred image of Nick's red body through the glass sliding pane. Shutting the door behind me, and feeling the blush completely withdraw from my face as I succumbed to relaxation; I removed my shirt and pants.

I stood there, in that globe of partial nakedness, as I slowly reached for the hook on my back. I quickly unbolted the bra and let it fall off my chest. Next were my panties, and as I stood back up, I saw Nick coyly smiling at me through the glass. I try to keep my eyes above his beltline, but that proved fruitless, as my gaze directed itself to his crotch. I couldn't see much past the blurry glass, but what I did see was huge.

I stepped into the shower with him, forcing my eyes to keep away from him, as I tried to hide my body with my arms, not being able to cover much. We stood with our backs to each other, desperately trying to stay focused on the wall. Or at least I was.

The water was hot, but most of it was blocked by Nick's body...

Speaking of which, and completely ignoring the water, from the small glimpses out of the corner of my eye I got of him I saw that the fur on his back and his legs were just as fiery as that on his face, presenting an explosion of vibrantly warm orange. It wasn't the first time I had seen Nick topless, but it was the first time I saw the rest of his body to match.

His legs were sturdy with a muscular and firm build to parallel his arms. His tail would usually cover his lower regions, but when he caught me looking, he let it slip teasingly. I should have looked away in embarrassment, but I stayed glaring. His ass was more perfect then I could describe.

Well, sexy, if I had to.

When I didn't pull away, he let out a sigh. "Please don't make me..." He jokingly groaned, before turning around.

I was right, he was huge, and I couldn't look away.

"So... now what?" He asked softly, to which I could only look up to his eyes and smile.

I moved my arms and let him survey my body while I studied his. We stood there for a few minutes, finally staring at each other instead of the wall. I don't know what prompted me to, but I asked;

"Can... can I touch..." I started, eyes locked on his member... so sexy...

He chuckled for a moment, and then nodded, leaning further. He was _really_ huge, or at least I would consider it huge. It was my first time seeing one that wasn't glowing behind a phone screen. It was growing bigger actually, hardening as I reached for it.

What the hell was I doing?

I gently rest the tips of my fingers on the girth, testing the feeling. As soon as I was actually able to grab it, the member seemed to spring to life, erecting to its full potential and provoking an acute gasp from its owner.

"It feels good, huh?" I joke, slowly rubbing the skin underneath my paws. I start to move the dick back and forth, sinking in Nick's moans above me.

It was my first time doing something this extreme with anybody. I experimented once in high school, but that was with another bunny, and he was the dominant partner. We weren't even happy together, or dating for that matter; we were just a duo of horny teenagers. We had just gotten our pants off when his dad caught us.

Nick was huge, a lot bigger than a bunny would be, and someone I was definitely happy to be doing this to. I set myself down on my knees, and after a few more strokes, looked up at him; he's smiling, and sets his paw on the back of my head. "If you want to..." He gently whispers, barely audible over the still running water, to confirm my silent question.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth and pushed my way onto his length. I stayed at his tip for the first few seconds, letting my tongue dance over the perimeter of the meat to discover the grooves and ridges of the veins. I eventually moved further down, tasting the fleshy rod fully to its base, then back up to the tip. It was long enough for me to gag when I took it all in.

I moved my paws to hold his lower back and thigh, gradually gaining speed with my bobs. Above me, Nick was moaning and grunting in pleasure, all the while pushing my head in faster with a paw, the other on the shower wall for balance.

Soon, Nick had finished with me taking my own pace, using both his paws to pull my head in closer to his waist and faster. Soon, he grunted loudly, and came, still inside of my mouth.

Instinctively, I spit the out white on the shower floor, leaning far back on my knees. It had this strange salty-sweet taste to it, set aside the warmth.

Nick grabbed me to secure that I wouldn't fall back. "Jesus, I'm sorry, I should have warned-"

I stopped him before he could finish his apology with a kiss. There was still the taste of seed in my mouth, but I could tell Nick didn't care. "That was cool, huh?" I giggled excitedly next to him. He nodded, and held me to his chest.

"Go get dry, and climb in bed." He said pleasantly, stroking my ears. I looked up at him and smiled. Clumsily, I stepped out of the shower, letting Nick finish up with his shampoo or whatever. I grabbed a towel and strolled out into the den, trying to get the wet out of my fur. I noticed Nick's rotten apple was still on the coffee table next to the couch, but I knew I didn't have time for that. Nick was almost out, and when he was...

Oh god I was excited! I had dreamed about this plenty of times, but now that it was actually happening, I was shaking with anticipation. I'm sure Nick was dreaming about this moment too.

Was this going to be _his_ first time? I don't think that would stand in the way, or anything.

I quickly darted into my bedroom, still drying myself, and sat on the bed. Was it going to hurt? I had used toys before, but a real animal -and on bigger than me to fan the fire- would have all the control. Nick _would_ be gentile; I'm sure of that, but still... if he wanted to...

I knew he wouldn't purposely hut me just for his own pleasure. Nick is too nice, and if he's going too fast, I'd just ask him to slow down.

He would understand.

I peeled the towel off of my body and leaned my head back in wondering of what we would do. I soon heard the water shut off, and a few minutes later, Nick emerged through the bedroom door, holding his back pack. He tossed it aside to land with a heavy thud. Nick was still hard, and looked amazing, body glistening with the lingering moisture. "You ready?" He asked softly.

I smiled back at him and pushed my way up the bed a bit. "Only if you are." I responded. He nodded and climbed on the bed in front of me. Slowly, he moved my legs apart and sunk his nose down in between. He eventually started feeling me with his tongue, tasting me, moving fast at first, but soon slowly to explore the cave. It felt amazing, like a warm finger, spreading over every nerve and jolting wonderful pains in my gut.

Unfortunately, he stopped and straightened his slender back to sit upright in front of me. I took in a deep breath, knowing what was about to happen, still, I looked at him and smiled confidently.

When he nodded back, I couldn't help but laugh. He was so sexy, and what was about to happen was what I had been dreaming about forever now. It was wonderful to see him in this position, through my bare spread legs. "If it hurts, just tell me, okay?" He cooed.

"Nick," I laugh again. "Just warn me this time." Fortunately, he laughs at the joke, understanding my placement. He nods, and draws in a breath.

Finally, he starts off with placing one of his paws on my thigh, and the other to guide his huge member to my lips. Slowly pushing in at first, and letting escape a moan of mine, he went until he was about halfway in. He stopped for a second, and surged straight in the rest of the way. It hurt, but my voice was intoxicated with pleasure and excitement, rather than traditional pain. My hips automatically bucked towards him, as if asking for more when he pulled out a ways. I had one paw gripping a pillow behind my head, and the other around Nick's neck, keeping him close to me. He pushed back in, faster than before, but still leisurely enough for me to adapt to the beautiful mix of luxury and fire.

He pulls one of my legs up behind his back and pushes in another thrust. I put my second leg up to match, and grab him like were in some horizontal hug. The feeling that Nick was giving me was incredible. I was right, it felt far more prodigious than any toy had, but it also had this presence to it, like warmth not of temperature, but of soul.

It was magical, to have another animal inside of me, and I decided that the small amount of pain was butch compared to the overwhelming sense of bliss. I didn't want it to end. I wanted this feeling to never leave. "Nick?" I ask through my huffs and moans.

"Are you alright?" He asked, sounding scared as he stopped his thrusting.

I bucked my hips some more. "No, I'm better than alright... This is amazing..." I whisper, clutching him closer. "I want you... to go harder... please..."

Nick pushed forward with his leg to give his thrusts more of an impact. "Like this?" He huffs heavily, still grunting from his end of the feeling.

I let out a small scream, and dig my fingers into his back. "Oh god, yes... That's fucking perfect!" I moan, giggling at my profanity.

Nick laughs as well, but quickly picks up on his heaving. It felt like he was moving a mile a minute then, as my inside stormed into the feeling of an impending explosion. "Nick... I love you..." I moan as I buck my pelvis into him again.

"Judy... I'm cumming..." He moans back, rubbing the base of my tail with his free paw. His thrusts seemed to grow even faster then, forcing his was to a climax.

I tucked my face into the cove of his neck and screamed his name. The aforementioned explosion finally burst, slightly before the feeling of Nick's seed filled me. His humps slowly stopped, and he pulled his rod out of me. I was breathing heavily, and sweating. "So much... for that shower we took." I gasp, still amazed at the feeling.

Nick laughed as he grabbed me into a spoon and kissed the back of my neck.

"I love you too, Carrots." He chuckled, settling himself under the blankets, with me in his arms.

I love the feeling of him next to me. It felt so wonderful, I let a tear run down my cheek.

* * *

 **Nick POV**

* * *

I took one last look at her body, still silent and beautiful, softly pulsating with her breaths. She's so beautiful, so gentile. She was the best part of my life, as I was hers.

With me out of the picture, Allister would have nothing against Judy, hell, he might even run away again, and that would mean she stays safe. She would get to live.

Not that Judy would be unaffected by this, but it was the best choice to get Thorn to lay off.

I don't fully understand my dad's logic; He acted as if he cared for me, but he was more than happy to point a gun in my face. Maybe he _was_ a psychopath. That's unimportant now...

Judy would understand. She would understand.

She would...

Oh god...

I whimpered loudly, and wiped away my tears as I set my suicide note on her nightstand. All I had managed to jot down was;

 _Judy,_

 _Please don't blame this on yourself. It was my call, and nothing you could do would be able to stop me. I love you truly, and I want you to understand that I_ _ **am**_ _sinking, and I_ _ **can't**_ _swim. At least not enough to save the both of us. Allister fucked me up so horribly, and I need you to understand that this is the only way I can actually escape him. If the ZPD were to arrest Thorn, it would only call for an even bigger war, all the while with my life at stake._

 _More importantly, yours._

 _I love you. I am so sorry Judy._

 _~Nick_

I had wanted to tell her about my dad's intention to kill her, but I couldn't do it.

I reached into the back pack and pulled out the pistol. It was so heavy, and it had an aura of ugliness to match.

It would be my tool.

Taking a deep breath after some painful tears, I pressed the mouth to my temple. I was sitting on the edge of her bed, and I didn't want to get my sinful blood on her beautiful fur.

I coughed out more tears, trying to keep quiet. I...

Okay...

I would count back from ten, and then I would...

Jesus Christ...

I would count back from ten and stop myself before I got to one.

God... okay, here I go... Ten...

I can do this.

Nine... eight...

She would understand...

Seven... six...

Goddamn this room was shrinking, closing in on me... Judy would be alright...

Five... four...

She would understand... wouldn't she?

Three...

I squeeze the grip so hard I feel the blood rush out of the knuckles. I'm screaming at myself inside, trying to force my finger to do it. I still had one more number...

Before one...

Before I shoot.

Two...

 _Do it! Fucking Do it! Now! She'll understand!_

One...

 _You fucking pussy! You're saving her! Fucking PULL!_

"NICK!"

I must have been sobbing pretty loudly, as Judy ripped the gun away from me and let it fly to the wall. She grabbed me tightly, trying to hug all of me at once. I lean into her, feeling my tears fall on to her beautiful fur. I shove my head into her neck and cry loudly.

"I... love you..." I bawl pathetically.

She says nothing, still holding me tight. I can feel she's looking at my note.

For a reason unknown to me, I could faintly smell rotting fruit, as if it was right behind me.

* * *

 **Author's Notes**

 **I fucking hate the word "panties." Yeah, I know, it's a bit immature, but seriously, it's disgusting. It's worse than the word "meal." Meal sounds like a disease.**

" **Hey Billie, you wanna go to the club tonight?"**

" **Sorry bro, I have a meal."**

 **You see what I mean? Oh yeah, and I guess I'm sorry for that bit of comedy relief after the chapter's ending... Or something... I dunno,**

 **So uh, yeah. It was dark, right? I hope so. This chapter was hard to write because of all the dark shit I was thinking up (and the sex, this is kinda the first time I really wrote a sex scene).**

 **Oh, and In case you're mad at me for giving** **Wilde a human dick, you can go blow my human dick, you human piece of dick.**

 **But seriously, if the females have human genitalia (Two boobs instead of six) then that means that the dudes get human genitalia too.**

 **Also, Dog dicks are gross. I don't care if it's your fetish or whatever, its wack, yo.**

 **I hope you enjoyed, and were able to look past how goddamn fast it was. I'm horrible at pacing, I know.**

 **Uh, so sorry this took a while, I'v been busy...**

 **Thats a lie. Ive been playing Just Cause 3 and listening to SleepyCast. That is how I spend the majority of my time nowadays...**

 **...Y'all ever watch Sunny in Philadelphia? Shits hilarious.**

 **K so Imma go put off the next chapter until summer or what the fuck ever. (not really tho)**

 **Penis.**


	6. Praesidium

**SIX**

 **Praesidium**

* * *

 **Nick**

* * *

"No more lies, Wilde. Where is Allister Thorn?" Bogo prompted from his side of his desk, looming in front of his lamp to cast a huge shadow over my trembling body. I was clutching an empty glass of water as would an infant to his mother; as if that was the only thing in the world to him. Security, sensibility, compassion... love. Judy had her paws around my back and on my arm in an effort to stop my tremors. I was no longer crying, but my body was always so broken, I was cold while sweating, hungry in abhorrence, and fearful through a sheet of faith in Judy. I gulp a dry mouthful of whatever my body could produce before looking up at my boss.

"Eight-Forty-one Maelstrom... in the Rainforest District..." I stutter, trying not to look the beast in his eyes. He hated me, a blind man could see it a mile away, yet he kept his placid expression as he scanned me. I was frail, depressed, and I wore it as a suit. A disgusting, unwashed, molding suit. "But Dad-" I froze, remembering Thorn's offer. He was my father, but not my dad. He was a horrible creature of rage and violence, capable of murdering his spouse and beating his two children. That isn't what a dad is... but unfortunately, that's what a father _could_ be. "...Allister never liked to stay put for long... and I think he'd be on the move after something like this." I added slowly, careful not to ignite the terse fuse of Bogo's anger. However, he did not growl or scoff or groan at me, he simply nodded, and lifted his desk phone.

"Hey McHorn? ...Get a search warrant for the residence at Eight Forty One Maelstrom in Rainforest... Thorn, Allister Wilde... and his arrest, yes... for several years distributing illegal products including unpermitted firearms, narcotics, prostitution of multiple names..."

I was unable to speak and tell the chief about Thorn's actual opinion towards hookers; as I wanted Allister to be charged with everything he could be... even if the charges were a slight bit fibbed. Judy squeezed my arm and pulled me closer to her. I looked into her vibrant violet eyes, and for the first time all day, smiled. She was here for me; she wanted to help me... even after I told her about Thorn's intentions of me visiting her apartment last night. Meanwhile, the gun was down in the forensics lab, undergoing scans for a DNA trace to lead back to Thorn, just to clip another charge around his neck. I thought it would be fruitless, as identifying his fingerprint wouldn't help find him, as we needed to cross the bridge before we could burn it. Hell, if we're lucky, it could inch him closer to the electric chair.

"You doing alright?" She probed softly, speaking with the beauty and tranquil that had gently told me to point the gun away from her in the first place.

"With you here? Yeah..." I flirted as I sighed, still holding my feeble smile.

Chief Bogo set his phone down, and redirected his harsh gaze back to me, obviously wanting to finish this as fast as he can, so he could fire me and end this putrid affair. When Judy had called the station, explaining what happened and asking for a car to come pick us up, he had exploded in violent rage and pure hatred. He instantly despised me upon learning what I had almost done to his best officer. He had no sympathy for my pain, not a single sliver of pity to spare on the topic of my attempted suicide, and I couldn't blame him. I brought out the monster in Thorn, I had almost killed Bogo's officer, I had assisted in a gang, and I had fucked up so much in the world, that it made sense to take the evil out, right? And what better way than to let the evil destroy itself? Upon our arrival, Bogo had immediately sent Clawhauser to file my badge for dismissal. I'm not sure if it passed yet, but I wouldn't object. I fucked up, I needed to be punished. And if it couldn't be done with a bullet, being fired would be a firm second. "Why Wilde?" He asked in a spiked voice, his eyes burning a hole in my last pillar of stability.

"Why what?" I asked, genuinely confused by his question. That only made him angry, however. He stood up violently, still straining a large part of his will to not grab my by the neck.

"YOU KNOW WHAT!" He screamed, casing me to reel back and shrink down in my chair, trying to make myself look smaller in hope to remind him that he's in control. Judy, on the other paw, jumped up at him, standing on her chair and locking gazes with him.

"Sit. Down." She commanded harshly. Nothing about Judy was threatening, not her stature, not her voice, physical appearance, nothing. Yet somehow, the venom dripping in her words left a mark on Bogo, leading him to look back and me, then sit back down in his chair, ruffling his hair in embarrassment. Judy sat back down and grabbed my paws in hers. Bogo looked back at me, still with his hatred, but without the implication of a threat burning through his eyes.

"Why... would you even go to Hopps' apartment, if you never intended to kill her... only to confuse Allister, then what was the point of meeting Jud-... _Hopps_?" He finished, trying to calm himself. That was a difficult question to answer at first, but when it hit me, it hit me hard.

"To apologize. To explain who I was, and why I was such a... villain...I just wanted to let her know that I loved... That I _love_ her..." I corrected myself, reminding my mind that I was still alive, not dead, or in some purgatory or another evil afterlife. "I didn't just want to off myself and leave her to wonder why... If she had me to talk to, something more than just some suicide note, then maybe she'd understand... at least, not hate me for doing it..." I felt a tear cascade my face, before Judy hastily wiped it away and pulled me in closer to her. So protective.

Bogo sighed, and for the first time all day, let a flush of compassion conquer his face. I must have hit one of his hidden soft spots. "Wilde... I... I'm sorry." He nervously grabbed his neck, struggling for words. "I don't know Allister... I don't know what he did to you, I mean _really_ know. Jesus, I don't know what other way to say it." I tried to shine a compassionate smile at his apology, but all that surfaced was a grim frown. He shouldn't be apologizing... that means he thinks I'm right. All I was able to do, was remain still, and curtly nod, purposely trying to look distant, to hopefully distract his looming skepticism.

Judy spoke up. "Thank you, chief." I could feel a warm energy radiate off of her, she must have been smiling. "Nick, do you need some more water?" She whispered to me, but looked at Bogo, as if a question for him to handle the task.

Before I could respond, several loud booms erupted throughout the air followed by an enormous thud, then several screams. Bogo quickly grabbed his jacket and ran out of his office. Judy let go of my arm and ran after him, quickly motioning for me to follow. When we moved out onto the walkway with an observation of the lobby, the first thing I saw was red. Red everywhere, and in a huge pool of that red was the unmoving body of Officer Mitchel McHorn, several red holes leaking more red onto more red covered his frame like roses. No one was trying to move him, or perform CPR, or anything. McHorn had been shot too many times to recover.

"Oh my god..." Judy muttered in honest horror before I pulled her close to me, trying to advert her eyes. Everyone was in shock, unable to move. The only thing we could do is stare. Stare and loom. Finally, about half an hour later, filled by everyone attempting to run past each other to stare at the body, an ambulance arrived. Three EMTs slowly lifted his's huge body into their truck and sped off. Everyone soon broke apart, some leaving to their cars, come sitting down to sob, and some rushing to each other to find out what happened. Clawhauser approached Judy and I slowly, as we stood unmoving.

"N-Nick?" Ben asked through stuttered sobs. I was barely able to turn to look at him.

"Yeah...?" I was able to respond, even though the dense weight of my burdens dragging my optimism to hell.

"Cha-Charlie escaped j-jail..." Benjamin sniffled. All I was able to do was turn back to look at the ground floor, watching the janitor grimly begin mopping up the ocean of blood painted everywhere. It didn't surprise or disgust me, only twist the knife stuck in my feeble twig of hope.

"Halatheon, he-he helped..." Ben added, to Jody's surprise, her ears twisting to face him.

"What?" She pulled away from me and swiftly wiped her eyes, looking up at the cheetah. Ben nodded harshly.

"He-he was... he- he shot Mc-McHorn..." Ban cried dourly.

Something inside of Judy snapped, drawing out cold hearted anger, more vibrant and terrifying then what she displayed in the office. Straightening her back, she looked down at the floor, scanning for the stag. It dawned on me that Thorn had spoken of an informant working in the precinct, and I couldn't match a face to that better than Halatheon. He hated me, and I had always blamed it on me being a fox, but now, I knew it was because he was working with Allister. "Thorn... said he had an insider..." I muttered, heart rate skyrocketing, my paws nervously running through my hair... "Halatheon..." I frustratingly groaned. Judy looked back to me, her huge purple eyes set ablaze with hatred. She took a huge breath, and asked in a deep voice; "Where's Finnick?"

I looked back to her and gulped. She knew Fin wasn't working with Allister, but that he would be a good lead on the boss. Finnick always kept tabs on everyone. He did it with me; it would make sense that he would keep Thorn under surveillance. "The usual corner." I informed. Fin liked to take advantage of the free parking outside a taco joint, and usually kept his van parked there, as he had no actual home. Judy nodded a thank you and firmly ran off to the stairs. Ben looked after her, but made no effort to ask her (or me for that matter) what she planned to do. For all he knew, Judy had something horrible in mind, and he wouldn't want to know what specifically... but I knew. Judy was protective, she wanted what was best for me, she never wanted me to have so much as an itch, or she would hop into a mother mode, and hunt down whoever had so much as touched me. If Allister, Halatheon, and Chuck were all working against me, with the knowledge that I refused to kill Judy, then they would do it for me.

And that would drive me to suicide. So I knew that Judy was protecting me more than herself, and that's where she was headed then. I knew that she had planned to kill Allister the moment I saw the twisting heat in her eyes.

* * *

 **Judy**

* * *

I didn't know much about guns, but I knew how to fire one. And that was all I really needed. With the recent shooting, no one was guarding the armory, and thus, no one was guarding the .44 revolver sitting eagerly on the shelf. It was small enough to kill someone my size, like a fox or a wolf, but only enough to injure an animal like Halatheon. But for Allister or Chuck, it was damn perfect. I strapped it on my belt, and quickly made my way out of the precinct, careful to walk around the blood-soaked soap stains. The janitor hedgehog looked mortified, yet kept on with his duty. I climbed in my squad car, remembering the directions to Finnick's spot. I suddenly smelt something rotting, so I look over and see that molding apple from my apartment sitting in the open glovebox. Not knowing how it got there, and not really caring too much, I roll down my window to through it out, but something stops me, something tells me to put it back, to ignore the smell, and just focus on finding Allister. So I did, unknowing if I was possessed by some sort of raw emotion, something loving and caring for Nick... yet cold and vengeful for Thorn... Regardless, I put the apple back in the glove box and shut the trap.

It took me a while, but when I arrived at Fin's spot, and spied his van parked in the corner of the lot, I took a few minutes to brace myself for what I was about to ask. This could range anywhere from a peashooter in the dark to a rifle at point blank. I exited my car after collecting my thoughts, and knocked on the huge red back door to his van.

"Go away! I'm all out of Catnip!" I heard an angry voice call out.

I tried to open the door, but it was locked. "Dammit Finnick, open up. It's offi- Its Judy." I sighed loudly. Slowly the door opened, and Finnick jumped out, welding a bent golf club.

"Where's Nick..." He asked threateningly, ready to swing.

I grabbed the club and ripped it out of his hands, throwing it on the ground. "For fuck's sake Fin!" I hate words like that, but I was furious enough to hit Fin with his own weapon. I didn't though, I needed him. "Nick's alright! Okay? I just need to know were Allister is!"

Fin was breathing heavily. He saw the revolver on my belt and motioned to it, a small twitch in his eye. "You gonna shoot Thorn? What about the faggot run away cop, Halaberto-something? Huh?" He taunted, taking a step toward the fainted club.

I kicked it further away, and let my paw hover over the pistol. "Yes. Yes I am." I spoke without a shred of discontent in my voice, holding solid as I tried to stare him down, to let him see and hear the sincerity on my words. He laughed mockingly.

"He shot your friend, right? The Rhino?"

I was taken aback for a moment. "How did _you_ know?"

He laughed, and sat on the bumper to his van. He was small, but the car was so rickety, that the whole thing bounced on his impact. "I keep an eye on all of my enemies... That's why you're here, huh?" His eyes narrowed as he asked that. Seeing him sit down, I lowered my paw and sighed. He had a strong distaste for me, after I took Nick away from him. Although, even after all of this, I'd bet he still considered Nick to be his closest friend.

All that meant was I knew where his soft spot was. "Yeah. They broke an inmate out of our jail center, and then shot an officer at the precinct. I believe that they were gunning for me, or possibly, gods forbid, Nick." His smirk dropped into a serious, stone cold glare. "I need to find them before they try again. So please, Finnick, not for mine, but for Nick's safety, do you know where they are?" He had let his glare fall to his feet, dangling off the bumper. He sighed, obviously weighing his options; keep his dignity and credibility by refusing to rat on criminals, or keep Nick safe. He would eventually choose the latter, I knew, but I would let him tell me that.

"Dammit, alright, alright..." He nodded at me, slowly ajaring his van door and leaping inside. I didn't have to wait for long before he jumped back out and handed me a piece of paper presenting an address, 739-North Banful Street. "I slapped a tracking devise on their shitty two-door." I eyed him coldly as he revealed to me his trick.

"How did someone like you get a tracking devise?" I asked, not really caring. Fin had helped keep Nick safe, he could be a rapist for all I care.

Well, maybe not that.

He rolled his eyes in a hateful manner, and then spit on the ground in front of me. "I'm a criminal, bunny. I do illegal shit, I acquire illegal shit. And the only reason you don't care, or at the very least why you're not pointing that snub-nose in my face right now, is because I don't want to kill Nick, right?" He closed his doors, leaving me standing in the lot. "When you get suspended and inevitably arrested for murdering three _suspects_ , do me the courtesy of not mentioning my name." I hear him scoff. It didn't matter, what he was telling me. As far as I knew, Finnick didn't exist, and I just _happened_ to find the address of the very animals I was hunting down.

I walked back to my car, allowing myself a few minutes for my conscious to clean its thoughts... again. Was I really prepared to wear the Burdon of three casualties under my thumb? This isn't what they taught me in academy. The closest thing to a moral they bothered worming to us was the question of what makes you a corrupt cop. As far as opinions on that question go, aiding murders like Thorn was corrupt. Killing him and his accomplices to protect your boyfriend's life? Yeah, I felt I was on the high-ground for that. Besides, when I kill them, I'll be the only survivor.

All I have to do is say _they_ shot first.

That last thought scared me horribly. I was prepared to kill three animals, just too possibly save the life of one other? I tried to tell myself that this was wrong, but my conscious was focused on Nick's voice. If I didn't do this, I would never hear it again. So I _had_ to do this.

 _Had_ to.

I started the car, and took another glance at the paper. It honestly baffled me how Fin got his tiny paws on this kind of tech. And how good at reconnaissance he was. He would make a good cop, if it wasn't for all that weed in his lungs. Driving to the location, I flip on the siren to speed things up. I would stop a mile before I hit the building, as to not alert the men inside. This needs to be a surprise.

Bogo would never believe me, if I told him that they'd opened fire. He knew me to well... but he knows how protective of Nick I could be. He wasn't scared or intimidated by me, but he knew damn well to not yell at Nick anymore.

And McHorn would- oh god. I forgot about him. His wife, did she know yet? Did they ever make up for their fights? They didn't part on bad terms, did they? He was gone, and I would never know. He and I were friends, but not as strong as he was with Nick. They were like brothers, always joking around, always talking about movies or music. Nick might not have shown it at the precinct, but he was burning up inside. His suicide attempt, the death of his friend, all stacked on top of his father's puppetry of him... Nick was a time bomb under a building, ready to either explode, killing everything it touches, or slowly burn out, never noticed by anyone other than those who planted it.

I didn't want that to happen to him. Maybe this was the _real_ reason I was going after his puppeteers. To not just secure his safety, but to make sure he wouldn't crack, explode, go insane with a hunger for chaos, following in his daddy's bloody paw steps.

And Halatheon... GOD do I hate that piece of lowlife shit. He was my friend, as close to me as McHorn was to Nick, and he just went in and shot Mitchel like it was nothing. He probably wasn't even remorseful, not even thinking of what this did to us... No, he knows what he did. This was a warning, not a slice at _my_ throat; he killed one of ours to show that he was never to be trusted. To show that you don't fuck with Allister Thorn.

I finally pulled up across the street from where Fin had led me, a large shipping and finance building closed for renovations. Parked outside, sat an ugly, two-doored red mess dubbed a car by some maniac who most likely bought it out of a demolition derby. The perfect disguise for an undercover Crime Lord.

I sat in the car, waiting for something to happen, a call, someone asking me for help, anything to distract me from all of this. Yet... I wasn't nervous. Maybe _that's_ why I was so scared. Alas, I finally unsheathed my pistol, and exited my car. Slowly creeping towards the building, I took a deep breath, running my game plan over in my head; _Shoot them. Don't let them talk. Just shoot them._

The main door was locked, as I tried to open it. Soon, I saw a tear in the side of the wall, sheathed by a large blanket of plastic. It was a bit of a tight fit, but I made it. How the hell did Halatheon get through? Maybe he wasn't even here... That would be too bad, not getting to shoot that waste of life. Inside, I hear footsteps on the floor above me, commotion, and the sound of what I thought was the sharpening of a knife. Hugging the walls to create less noise, I wandered the interior for a while until I spotted the stairs. They were carpeted in blue, and had a warm feeling tickling my eyes, but I was smart enough to know that their warm appearance would be my pathway to murder.

I cautiously ascended the path, fearful that however many armed killers hat were up there would hear me. Contradictory to my worrying, I made it up just fine, with the looming sound of dialogue growing louder and louder. I pushed my ears to the back of my head and stayed in the shadows, gripping my throat to not make a grunt. I found a spot pressed up to a wall, with a corner leading away to the dialogue. Peering around the wall's corner, I spotted the trio sitting on sheeted chairs, surrounding a box of wine.

Sure enough, Halatheon was there, still in his blood soaked officer uniform. Sitting to his left, was Chuck, very cautiously sipping his glass. He was wearing a blue incarceration jumpsuit, probably unable to change since the bailout. Between the both of them, the only one not drinking, was Allister Thorn, wearing a large Rabbit-fur coat with gold earrings and necklaces punctured all around it. I don't know why, but I got the feeling that the coat was made recently. His undershirt was a cool pink, acutely exposing his chest, which branded a fur-dyed tattoo of what looked to be a dragon, and a single thin silver chain neckless drooping from his firm shoulders. His appearance and manner in which he sat reminded me of some Miami Vice villain.

Chuck se his glass down on the floor. "...All I'm sayin' is that we should leave him alone. Kid's scared, he won't come after us." His voice was a hell of a lot deeper then I remembered. Maybe that was due to all of the blood rushing to my head.

Halatheon nodded. "Yeah, I'm with Chuckie here, Nick's a good kid, we should just bail, set up with your buddies down south." That fucking bastard. Every time I think of him, (and now especially that I could see him) I wanted to strangle that disgusting neck of his. He betrayed me, he betrayed the ZPD. He betrayed Nick. They were never the closest of friends, like I've mentioned, but they worked together, helped each other out. I remembered once he had offered to drive Nick around when I was out sick, and now, he had thrown that away just to be on some king pin's good side.

Allister didn't move, he instead kept his face locked, like he was deep in thought, but his words were casual. "No. I gave Nick the chance to get away from us. I fucking _gave him_ , the opportunity to live the life the fucking pope would kill to have, and he turned it down. That's not only an insult to himself, but an insult to me. And who knows... maybe that little faggot _is_ coming after us." His head turned to look in my direction. My heart stopped, and my gun paw tightened. I was ready. "Maybe He's too chicken-shit, and that rabbit he's clit pounding is trying to do the dirty work." His paw shot to his gun tucked in his belt, and fired thrice at me. I only had time to fire one back, but from the sound of the scream, I knew I hit Halatheon somewhere. I must have been accidentally aiming for him. Oops.

Chuck caught on fast, and took cover behind a pillar as Allister kept firing. I had a sliver of time to escape my hiding spot and rack in more fire by dodging to a pillar of my own and firing twice more. The first slug hit a blinded window behind Thorn -whom wasn't even flinching- sending broken glass plummeting down to the street below, while the second managed to steer itself to Halatheon again. It missed, unfortunately, and only whizzed by his chest. Chuck jumped out from the pillar as Thorn reloaded while screaming at Halatheon to get up, giving Charlie the time to waste an entire clip firing at me. I was ducking behind an overturned table not thick enough to stop a bullet, but dense enough to slow it the hell down. Realizing the chance as a wide open golden gate, one I would never see again, I pulled myself up with a split second to breathe. I saw down the ironsides Chuck turning back to his pillar, and Allister thrusting another clip into his piece. Then I fired.

Blood sprayed the back of the room, some chunks of head even managed to fly out the broken window. Chuck's decapitated body hit the floor with a thud as I quickly moved the gun to Thorn. He wasn't distracted by the blood of his partner landing on his white-rabbit coat, as he pointed his gun to me, ready to fire... but I was quicker. I shot him in the arm, causing him to drop his gun in pain, and instinctively fall to the floor, hoping to dodge whatever was next. I aimed to the floored Alli-

A bullet hit me in the collar, just enough above my vest to spit my blood out in front of me. In the single second I stagger backwards, another bullet flies from Halatheon's gun, held trembling in his bleeding arm. The stag was still sitting down, and was huffing though the pain, keeping the piece pointed at me. The second bullet ends up digging though my left shoulder, and exiting through my neck. Being shot painful is painful enough, but nothing compared to another sharp slug of lead sprinting through your flesh. It felt like a snake set ablaze by the warmest fires of hell had slithered through my blood and exploded in venom, spraying enough to tear a hole in my neck, and kill my stance.

Lying on the floor, fighting a demon just to keep my eyes open, I saw Allister walk over and stand above me. He had stripped his coat, and was giving no attention to his wounded arm. He was a mountain, a king in triumph over his kill. His prey. In the distance I heard sirens, quiet, but growing.

Thorn knelt down to face me, his face blending into blurriness. "Save a seat in hell for Nicky, wouldja?" He snickered, right before I shot the remaining three bullets from my revolver into his chest.

I don't remember much else, just a sharp foot pain. Funny how after all of this, the fact that I might me dead, the fact that I could have just saved, or endangered even further Nick's life, I can still only complain about a foot itch.

* * *

 **Nick**

* * *

On the broken asphalt a few feet in front of me was a huge collection of blood, and swimming in the puddle was Chuck's eyeball, staring at me, bloodshot and stressed. The sirens were still blaring, and the EMTs were yelling to one another, throwing signs and boxes every way they could. Ambulance doors swung open allowing a lift to carry the corpse of the cheetah, his warm yellow fur painted red. Finnick stood beside me, his paws trembling.

"I thought... I didn't know she was being serious." Fin spoke to my distrust. He knew where my father and his gang was, but he kept it to himself, only to give it away to a trigger happy killer the second one asked for it. Christ, was that really how I thought of Judy? A _killer_? Maybe she did take things too far...

I didn't respond, as I was waiting for someone to tell me if Judy was okay. Chief Bogo had been clear when he told me to stay outside, and I daren't disobey him, especially not now. If she was hurt, or worse... I'd blame myself.

I forced my tired mind to think about something else, anything else. My gaze caught that of Chuck's eye again, still staring at me, almost ready to blink. Fin must have seen it to, as he cringed and covered his mouth. All I was able do was stare in calm disgust, and macabre curiosity. I nudged the eye with my toe, rolling it back across the lake of gore. Fin gagged and hit my arm, trying to tell me to stop. I don't know why I didn't, all I could do was let my foot slowly fall back into the lake, unfazed by the stain of red on my pant leg. I must have been too broken to care.

Finally, Two EMTs ran back through the door, carrying the limp body of a rabbit, All I could see were two large bullet holes.

And blood, so much blood.

Her blood. Maybe that was the whip cracking my conscious alert again. It was as if I had woken up from reality into a dream, observing everything with my same eyes, but new ones all the same. Maybe that's what was tethering me back together, to keep me in one piece, Judy in peril, unable to stand up for me, leading me into a protective apparatus. I knew she was in danger, and that the probability of her being unharmed would be unwonted, but seeing it, being so close to what looked like her corpse, with the tiny voice in my head gloating his accuracy to the situation, was infuriating.

My head hurt, and my lungs felt caved in, like a car crushed into a cube. The only clear though in my mind was to run into the building. I didn't see Thorn's body yet, so I knew he was still inside. I wasn't scared anymore. He hurt her, and that was enough to warrant my rage. That was Judy's logic, I realized, but that was pebbles in the storm of boulders raining on my mind.

Chief Bogo caught me by the arm right before I hit through the door, and dragged me back to the police cars. I could barely hear him over the sirens. "Goddamit Wilde! What the hell did I tell you! I want you to-"

My mind toned his eruption out as I saw the third stretcher stroll out of the entrance, carrying a fox dyed crimson. As he rolled past me, he turned to stare at his son presenting a mocking smile. He didn't talk, but in my head, I could hear him calling me a 'faggot' again. It took every ounce of ability, every drop of sweat, blood, and vigor in my soul to not tear his throat open, repaying him his cocky grin. Bogo finished his speech, as he knew he was being ignored, and returned to the door.

The final ambulance sped off, leaving a litter of police cars drowning in flashing lights. They were off to the hospital, meaning that the notorious Allister Thorn had been caught, but that didn't matter. He won, just like he always does. Judy was near-death, if not already. Finnick walked up to me as I was settling myself down. I looked down at him, his eyes beginning to water from the stress of the night, when my phone buzzed.

It was Halatheon calling, and my jaw fell open, leaving me standing on the cliff that dropped into pure shock, as I realized that they never brought him out of the building. I moved away from the noise to answer my phone. "Nicky... I left a little gift... for you..." He spat between wheezing breaths, sounding of immense pain. "In the ally, be...hind the b-building..." He chuckled over his hurt, then hung up. I dropped my phone, spinning around to scan for the ally he was talking about. Fin came rushing to my side.

"Nick, their car is gone..." He said, nervously looking in the direction I was. "I had it tracked, I don't think it's been towed yet, it's too... Hey!" I paid small attention to his speech, or his yell after me as I ran to the alleyway Halatheon spoke of. Sure enough, there was a box, soaked in blood, and the word "Nicky" written in black ink on the side.

Fin caught up to my paralyzed body, falling silent to horror himself. My brain was running through all possible contents; a bomb? A weapon? ...A piece of Chuck? Fin rested his paw on my arm, squeezing tight and looked at the box. "Did that bastard leave that here?" I nodded. Fin took a deep breath, attempting to suck in a gust of bravery, and then slowly approached the 'gift'.

He looked back at me shortly before kicking the top off. Once peering inside, he gagged, and lurched himself backwards. Compelled by rage and curiosity, I took a look inside.

Horrified, I my brain forced me to read the words scribbled on the side of the box as a distraction from the content.

"Nicky, you seem to be down on your luck. Here you go, buddy." It read, right above the bloody severed rabbit's foot, lying cramped sideways inside.

It smelled like that damn rotten apple, to be honest.

* * *

 **Author's** **Notes** **Nonsense**

 **Wow I'm bad at pacing, like, HORRIBLE. Oh, and sorry this took so long, I've been procrastinating...**

 **A lot, really, but I DO have an excuse. I met someone and had to put my brakes on the internet for a while to get to spend more time with him. But now that everything's settled down and we have a steady relationship, I can get back to writing bullshit about foxes and rabbits. Also studding.**

 **That was a joke. I don't study tests. I fail them.**

 **Also sorry if the story's dark or whatever... And the next (and maybe final?) chapter will be like 20k words, so yeah... that should give me an excuse for why the finale will inevitably take forever to pump out.**

 **But thank you for waiting? maybe you forgot about this, I dunno. Enjoy, i guess.**

 **Penis**


	7. Swimming

**SEVEN**

 **Swimming**

* * *

 **Nick**

* * *

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't blame this on me, however, that didn't make me feel better. I still had a dent in my stride and a limp to my face, like I was ashamed to be alive. I wasn't ashamed as much as I was disappointed.

If I had just been one second faster back in Judy's apartment...

That was mute now, as I was left in the center of this escapade, while Judy was hurt. Alive, but hurt...

Crippled, was how the doctors put it. She had her left foot crudely sawed off, made immobile by the only survivor of this new trio, Halatheon. Nobody knew where he was, due to the car Fin tagged being traced to a muddy ditch a mile south of the city.

I told Bogo about the box, and he looked just as mortified as I did when he saw it, but with a trace more of anger. Anger and drive to find Halatheon. But that was two days ago, I haven't seen him since, he hadn't even stopped by to see Judy. The entire ZPD was out looking for Halatheon now, with Finnick helping, surprisingly. Apparently he had been asked by Bogo for aid. The Chief must have been desperate to work with a criminal like Fin... better him than scum like me.

Judy was in a coma, but even if she was awake, I wasn't permitted to enter her room, due to Bogo's wish. It gave me a morbid strip of peace to know he still hated me.

Allister, on the other side of consciousness, was awake. I feared that he had told the doctors about how he'd sent me to kill her, but nobody asked me any questions, or tried to keep an eye on my presence. Maybe he's just waiting to use this against me. I only saw a quick glimpse of his room before they shut up for the night, and he looked like a corpse. Missing patches of fur, gloomy eyes, and broken quick breaths helped paint his aura of death. He had to have the bullets surgically removed, due to them being too ingrained in his body, with two hitting his lungs. He was rigged to several large machines just to keep him alive. Apparently it would be half a year before he could breathe on his own again.

Despite his position, and his doom to decompose in prison for his remaining years, I knew he was happy. He wanted this, he wanted me to hurt... to break. I might never understand him, why one hour he'd help me flee the country, then the next grin at the sight of my melancholia, but I did know one thing about him; He'd never be able to hurt me or Judy again.

As I said, I couldn't blame myself for this. This was Judy's doing. For my safety, sure... but she still killed chuck... I don't know if she would get off for that. ...No, I know she wouldn't. It was murder in the first degree. She'd be lucky just to get twenty years jailed.

Sitting alone was excruciating. I would talk to Finnick on days like this, back before the Trio, when the hours were too slow to pull cons. Chuck never liked to talk for too long, causing those days to lead me to nostalgia, but despite Fin's tough nature, he was a good listener. He was off aiding the ZPD now, out of some deep rooted respect for me, hunting down Halatheon just to keep me safe. Almost like Judy... just less... _bloodthirsty_ , I hope.

I let my head fall into my hands, _trying_ to cry, but left only with the pain refusing to escape. Maybe this was my fault. The only three people I still cared about in my life all threw something huge away just to help me. McHorn with his life, Judy, her mobility and badge, and Fin's... well, it would only be a matter of time before he got hurt, and nobody would remind me that I was the cause... just me. Christ, I do blame myself... looking back on it, I don't know why I wanted it. Maybe just to mentally point a finger. Make it feel like this _was_ an effect to a cause.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, slow, but heavy. "Hey, Jamie." I sigh after looking up.

"Nicholas." He says back, sitting down next to me. He had on his red suit, fit the with dead-pan blue tie. Apart from his fur, he could never pass for my brother. He looked, sounded, and acted nothing like me. Well, at least when I was at my peak.

Jamie never liked Allister, not even before he snapped. His hate towards him only accelerated once Thorn made a name for himself in the criminal underworld. Although mom never told us, it was my theory that Jamie was actually my half-brother, Allister stepping in after mom's first marriage failed, and leading to my brother's hatred. I'm not sure Jamie knew either, but he was determined to ignore and separate himself from da... from Allister as much as he could. He was only a few years older than me, but in his stance and in his figure he looked to be about 50. He and I were on good terms, but we still never kept in casual contact. He felt more like a cousin than a brother, to be honest. "Have you seen him yet?" He asked, opening a briefcase and pulling out some papers, probably work-related.

I shook my head. "No, and I don't think they'd let me." I would tell him it's because of the Trio, but he didn't know. And I _really_ didn't want to get another animal hurt because of it. "At least not yet."

"Well, they better not let _me_ in there. I'd tear that bastard to shreds if given a knife or something." I nodded, not really agreeing. I could never kill an animal. Not even a monster... not even myself. He handed me one of his papers after a few seconds of mumbling. Written in fancy blue font read "Last Will and Testament of Allister T. Wilde"

Before I could read it, Jamie patted my shoulder again. "It's still valid. That's really the only reason I came out here. Hell, I don't even want to say a final 'fuck you' to the guy... it's too good for him, ya know?" He rambled, much to my disinterest. Allister didn't have much to give away, aside from various trinkets, and a small vacation home addressed to the both of us, one that burnt down recently... probably due to him. What really snagged my attention was an aside from the script, written in red.

 _To Nicholas and Jamison Wilde,_

 _11-12-34_

"His safe..." I whispered. Jamie nodded slowly, taking the paper back to its den.

"I already had a crack at it. It was still in the house, believe it or not. I didn't find anything, though. Just a bunch of pictures of him and some mouse." He sighed. To be completely honest, I was disappointed that he and I wouldn't be able to open the box together, even if it was just a bunch of old pictures, it still would have been nice to connect with Jamie a bit more. He and I never had a bond to repair, but at least I would have somebody to talk to... even if it _was_ Jamie.

I ruffled my neck fur, still matted and dirty from not showering since the night at Judy's. "Where'd you get the will, anyway...?" I heaved out, just trying to keep conversation alive.

"I work in law, remember?"

"Oh. Right." Well, so much for that.

Jamie let out a silent burp, covering his mouth with a fist, straining at the taste. He coughed a little, but eventually regained his posture. "Christ... that was the food they sell here, fighting back and all. It tasted like rotting sauerkraut. Or like when someone-" I droned his words out again, my mind fixated on the horror of Judy's foot floating in its own blood in that box. The simple remembrance of the image made me want to vomit. And that smell... it shouldn't have smelled like that... it shouldn't have... I strained my mind to focus on a brighter image, something I've been doing way too forcefully, way too often. All I was able to advert my brain to, was the chance that Judy was going to make it. She didn't lose too much blood, the doctor told me, and was only in a coma. Animals survive comas all the time. She just needs a little bit of it.

When Judy wakes up, the first thing I do, before the police take her badge, before they determine her judicial fate, before _anything_... I come clean. I tell her the entire story, no lies, no detail left out... no matter how grim. My father, how I met Chuck, the Trio, Mr. Big... Mom... everything. I cost her an appendage, almost her life, and way too much trouble than all of this drama was really worth.

"...But then it just ends up cold an hour later, I-I just don't understand how... you know what I mean?" Jesus Christ, Jamie can ramble. I just nodded, pretending to pay attention.

After a few minutes of silence, most of which distracted by my mind hurting itself in attempt to stay optimistic, a nurse walked by, carrying an IV bag full of crystal blue liquid.

Jamie snickered, the way he usually does when he's booting up his comedy engine, getting ready to tell a joke. "Now see, THAT looks tasty. Maybe _I_ should get shot or something, at least I'd finally get some good food." He snickered on his punchline, nudging my arm while pointing at the nurse. All I could do was let out a somber growl, half full of obligation of a response, half bitter displeasure at him making a joke like that when Judy had just been shot. I think he got the message, as he dropped his smirk and opted instead for a calm, controlled stare. "Christ, Nicholas... when's the last time you smiled?" To his credit, he sounded genuinely worried.

I looked back up at him, wanting to just be alone, nobody around for miles. Nobody to risk their life for you, nobody to die in your name... absolutely alone. Or at the _very_ least, away from his insensitive ass. "The last time I smiled?" It was right before I tried to shoot myself, James." I growled, shoving my head back into my paws, trying to keep my breathing calm. Jamie must have been pretty awkward then, as he was never a people person, and given a situation like this, he wouldn't know how to react. He would prob-

I felt his arms wrap around my shoulder, pulling me into a hug. The first time I had ever really hugged him, the first time contact meant anything more than a formal greeting with him. I couldn't explain why, but that aforementioned bond that didn't exist felt a hell of a lot more probable. I grabbed his back, resting my head on his suit's collar. "I'm sorry... I just..." I started to explain myself, but he cut me off by hugging me harder.

"Nick... I'm not very good with this whole 'affection' kinda stuff, but I... well, I hate that you have to be the victim in all of this." If his embrace had tethered a rope between him and I, that last sentence had cut it, before burning its corpse. However, I didn't pull away. "I know that Allister loved you, but he's deranged, and you weren't meant to be an outlet for his insanity."

I let my hug catch slack. "Victim?"

He looked down at me, confused. "Yeah, you..." His eyes shone with the sudden knowledge of what he had just said. "I... shit, I'm sorry, Nicholas," _Nicholas_. Yeah, our bond was dead. "You... you and the rabbit... are victims..." He said nervously, dancing around my discomfort.

I wiped away a tear, my first of the day. My last of the day, a discomforting voice told me. "No, I'm not a victim. I'm just some fox who said somethings I shouldn't have, and now because of it, I've cost two people their lives, immobilized _and_ cost the dream job of the first rabbit police officer, probably destroying the rest of her life, _and_ allowed a mob boss to win, simply by the fact that he... broke me..." I finished. I don't even know if I meant all that. I knew I was broken, but maybe, maybe I... I just...

Christ, I don't know.

The more I try to assign blame, or sort out all of this fallout product of a simple lie... a _measly_ little lie, the more I wish I had just killed myself when I still had the chance.

Jamie looked down at his feet, locking his body into slack, hunched over like a student above a textbook, no form or care, just anxiety. "Broken? Is that the right word?" He pressed. Son of a bitch, I wished he'd just leave.

I still answered, out of pure politeness. "I'm trying to blame myself when I can't, and trying to stop when I can. I can't feel my emotions anymore, I just... I want out."

The background noise of the hospital collected absence as he spoke softly. "Out of what?"

"...Life. I told you I tried to commit suicide, right?"

"Yeah."

"I've put too much sin into this world than I've taken out. That's what makes you a good person, right? If you've done more _to_ the evil than _for_ it?"

"I just exist, Nicholas. I'm not much of a deep thinker."

"Neither am I. And that's why I want out. I'm tired of knowing that there's more to me than just sarcasm and quick wit. It hurts me, to know that I have an effect on people."

"You don't want to have an effect on people?"

"I just want to be another person you pass by in the supermarket every day, never recognized, never spoken to, just another nameless face, savor for the two or three people I actually _do_ want to be a 'somebody' to."

He stood up, brushed himself off, buttoned his suit, picked up his briefcase and held his chin up. "That is insane, Nicholas. You're not broken, you're just growing up. Albeit a bit more... grimly than the rest of us, but maturing still." I turned to look at him. "You love Judy, Right?"

"How do you..."

"She's alive, when she wakes up, just tell her want you need to, and given a year, everything will be back to normal. Trust me. You may not want too many people to care for you, but there are a lot of people who _do_. I included. If you blame yourself for these people's deaths, or if you want to, or what-the-hell-ever, don't. They'd die for you, and a few did. It may be horrible, it may be tragic, it may make you want to kill yourself, but you need to know that they loved you. I don't know who they are, sure. But I know they love you, Nick. And so do I." With that, he abruptly left.

I sat for a while, resting my arms crossed on my lap. "What a shit head." I muttered coldly, glad he was gone. He _didn't_ know the people who died, one of them not even dying for me. He just... tried to... he just pulled that out of his ass. He just... Jesus Christ...

I dug my fingers into the back of my neck, letting my elbows hang to my chest. He was just glad that he wasn't involved in this, and only here to drop off a will. I looked back at where Jamie was sitting and spied a thin tan folder, marked with streaks of black ink spelling; Allister's photos. Jamie must have left them for me. I didn't hesitate to open the folder, picking up a stack of Polaroid camera photos.

The first few pictures were just Allister and a few friends, sometimes around a TV, sometimes a poker table, and one at a strip club. The picture after that strip club one was his group of friends inside a car; Thorn presenting the left side of his face to show a large, fresh gash in it. He was smiling, of course, but this time it wasn't due to my misfortune, instead, he was holding a tiny pink bra in his paws. I put it together that he assaulted a stripper, took a few photos, and got his ass kicked by the bouncer. Any evidence to support my theory other than the one with him and friends were nonexistent... or maybe Jamie stole them.

The next photo was one I recognized, it being taken by me and all. I must have been seven, due to the angle. The picture showed my brother, ten at the time, sitting at a table eating breakfast. All I remember happening after that was my father yelling at me for touching his camera. He told me I shouldn't be so "Careless with fragile things." Ironic _he_ should scold me like that, now that I see it.

The next picture was... It was me; in my Junior Ranger uniform... mom must have taken it...

Cycling past a few pictures completely out of chronological order, most consisting of landscapes from trips and vacations, and house remodels, I found a picture of Allister and an Artic Shrew in a tuxedo. Mr. Big, undoubtedly. For the first time in these pictures, Thorn looked professional. He was dressed in a white suit, clean of any stain or blemish. A plain blue tie clutching his neck, complementing his crimson red fur. His face held a somber smile, and was completely devoid of hate, rage and scar. He looked young, and happy. He was then a calm and relaxed wannabe thug doomed to die, and be born again as the Allister Thorn I knew; now he's the exact opposite. Until his destiny would catch up with him, he held his hands against the shoulders of his wife, as young and happy as he, unknown to her the lust lurking in her husband's mind.

The others in the picture were either polar bear bodyguards, or foxes and wolves the size of my parents. Probably business associates, come to Mr. Big's formal celebration.

The next photos were more of my father and Mr. Big, one consisting of the two and the latter's Grandmother. Dear God, that brought me back. I thought about the time Thorn brought Chuck and I to meet the mob boss... that day was the only warm day, back when the Trio was still alive. Not that I miss it, but looking back, if I had seen every day like I saw that one, I might still be running at Allister's heels, pulling cons and smoking catnip.

The final photo took me aback, as it was the only photo of the family, all of us together, that is. My father wore dark brown colors, a swollen suit, and had his hair greased back. If he looked at ease in the photo at Mr. Big's party, then he looked like he was embodied in hell here. His mouth was locked shut, trapping any protest to the family memoir, and leaving it to boil in his throat. My brother stood under my father's placement, smiling big and bright in his first red suit and blue tie.

My mother... was beautiful. She had a wonderful purple dress draping her entire body, as elegant and majestic as the northern lights. Her eyes shone cobalt so intense they seemed to heat the photo in my grasp. She had her gloved paws over my shoulders, much like Thorn had his over hers at the party, only, something in my eyes, and something about my face, made me want to cry. It was the last time I was happy, and I had subconsciously forced myself to forget about it.

I tore my eyes away from the picture, not even studying my apparel to jog my nostalgia. I looked back only long enough to see where I was making a crease; down the center, dividing her and I from Allister and Jamie. I tore the photo in half, immediately shoving the preferred side into my pocket. I sat the other side back onto the pile and put them back into the folder.

I didn't want to look at it anymore, but I still wanted it. And I had it. At least that's something...

My phone buzzed as I set the folder back where Jamie was sitting. Finnick was calling. I didn't want to answer it, as that would just lead me to an even nastier feeling. All I wanted now was Judy. It would be a while until I got that, but in the meantime... I wanted no news about Halatheon. Not even an alert to tell me he's dead.

Not even that... not until I talk to Judy.

The call expired, and he sent me a text soon afterwards. All it read was "Call me"

I didn't want to do that, though. Even if we wouldn't talk about Halatheon... even if he was just wanting to check up on me... Like a good friend. All I wanted was Judy...

...And until I get her...

I stood up, not really _knowing_ what force was controlling my body to move to the door, but also not _caring_ , as I agreed with it completely. Maybe the force was simple desire, and I was just telling myself otherwise. It didn't matter, though. All that _did_ matter was that I was going to talk to him. Father to son.

"Can I help you?" Asked the gruffly white timber wolf guarding Thorn's room. I froze at the sight of him, knowing he was my only obstacle. He wasn't a part of the ZPD, as his clothes and ear piece led me to believe he was in the FBI. It made sense they'd be on this case as well.

I pulled my badge out of my back pocket, showing it to him briskly, as I didn't want to take too long and change my mind. "Officer Nicholas Wilde, ZPD. The man in there is my father. I just need to see him." The wolf looked at me sadly.

He sighed, then stepped aside the door. "I'm not allowed to let anyone in, but if you're an officer..." I walked past him as he held the door open. "Don't take too long, please."

I nodded without looking at him. " _Idiot."_ I thought to myself. Allowing me in like that. The badge could have been fake, or I-

My mind cut itself off upon the sight of him.

He was stung to a billion machines, all running tubes and needles into his chest, arms and neck, pushing liquids of grim colors into him. His breathing was in sync to his heartbeat, as whenever his chest would rise, a monitor next to his bed would beep. Every time it fell, another beep. Slow and painful to intake, slow and painful to watch. His muzzle was covered by a huge plastic dome, strapped all the way around his head, and jutting a yellow tube running back to a ventilator. His fur was ruffled and matted, more than mine, looking like he had been attacked in the sewer, rather than a building. To top it all off, he was wearing a neck brace, preventing him from rolling over, and from his neck to twist.

He looked pathetic. A criminal kingpin reduced to a bedsore, depending on the good faith of others just to breathe. To be completely honest, it scared me. It scared me how something as simple as a bullet or two could knock a monstrosity such as he, down. It was horrifying... it was horrifying how I was once scared of this titan, who was now nothing more than a vegetable.

He must have heard my footsteps, as he slowly slid his eyes open, striking his dilated pupils on my being, and slowly collecting color. He smiled wide behind his mask. "Nicky..." He wheezed hoarsely, almost choking on the action.

I pulled a chair from the wall to the bed and sat down. The room was barren, no TV, no flowers or pictures on the wall, the perfect room to express everyone's disgust towards the resident. "Allister." That was the first time in my life I had ever called him by his name, to his face. I had been too scared previously.

He laughed, knowing that fact for himself. "I guess... that means... you hate me? What did... I ever do to you?" He forced himself to laugh out those stuttered words, followed by a fit of coughing and a choke.

"Still a sarcastic prick, ah?" I spat coldly.

He stopped coughing and let his smile slack. "Yeah, somethings never change." He retorted, staring me in the eye. I didn't stare back, still fearful of what I might see in his portals to hell. We sat in silence, spare for the beeping of the machines and heaving of his breaths, until he finally spoke again. "So how is she?"

"Alive." I snorted, expecting his certain response.

"Damn..." That was it. He didn't smile when he spoke this time, as if he was actually disappointed, not just saying it to hurt me. "You know, this is her fault, the Trio and I just wanted to leave you two alone."

 _The Trio._ I never wanted to hear those words, especially out of his mouth, again. "Yeah, something inside of me doubts that." I looked out the iron bared window, the only object that could pass for decoration in the room, and saw the ocean. That was his escape out of the country, maybe eleven months ago. It's what would have been _my_ escape if I had been deranged enough to shoot her... If I had been deranged enough to help Allister. "I think it's called common sense." I looked back down at his unamused face, holding his gaze on the wall in front of him.

He shook his head as much as he could under the restraint of his brace. "No, is called hope. Something you need to learn to let go of." His breathing, although distorted, never shook his words. "Hope for everything, actually. Hope that Judy Hopps _won't_ get a life sentence, or hope that I'll die in this bed and not in prison... Hope that you can ever forgive yourself."

I focused my sights on his paws, limp and drawing circles in the sheets, every once and a while catching at them softly, like he was longing for a feeling there. "Forgive myself? For what _Judy_ did?" I ask.

He turns at looks at me. "Don't bullshit me, Nicholas. I know it's tearing you up inside. I know you... I know you..." He rarely calls me Nicholas over Nicky. All it meant was that he was annoyed, instead of angry. Even if he was angry, his paws were still rubbing the sheets, and I doubt he could hurt me.

"I don't have hope I'll 'forgive' myself, just _satisfaction_ that one day I will." I muttered, looking back out the window. I could faintly see the ZPD precinct... I wonder if they finished cleaning up the blood yet...

"Satisfaction for what may never come is called hope, Nicky."

"Kind of like the hope that you _won't_ die here?"

He laughed feebly. "Does that imply a threat?"

I didn't answer, opting instead to change the subject. "Why her foot? Why didn't you just kill her?" I looked back at him, his paws still turning the sheets.

He shook his head again. "I didn't tell Halatheon to lop her foot off, Nicky. I was barely conscious." He tried to shift his back, but it only made him groan. "Trust me, if I _had_ been pulling the strings, _all_ of her limbs and appendages would be detached." He kept staring at me, trying to catch my sights. "You know that, dont'cha Nicky?"

I nodded. "Yeah..."

"All I could do during that was watch. I couldn't talk or move, just watch. Damn me if wasn't entertaining, though." He sighed. "Why don't you cops go talk to him if you really want to know?"

I shook my head, happy with my leisure to do so. "We... well..."

"Is he still free?" He asked, genuinely curious.

Finally, I looked him dead on. His eyes were still dilated and bloodshot, begging to be shut, yet still the most horrifying sight I'd ever seen. I wanted nothing more than to look away from his medusa glare, turning my emotions into stone to crumble before me, yet if I looked away, he'd know I was lying. "No. Finnick shot him. He's dead." I didn't stutter, or pause, or break my glare. In retrospect, Allister _should_ have known I was lying, due to my unusual lack of fear.

However, _he_ was the one to look away. Out of sadness, spite, or anger, I'm not sure. At the very least, he knew he was defeated. That's all that mattered. "Finnick, ah?" He coughed, disrupting his steady breathing with pain. "Little bastard..." He muttered when he caught himself.

"How'd you two meet anyway? Finnick, I mean." I relaxed into my chair, not due to comfort, but because I knew I'd be here for a while.

He sighed again, paw still rubbing the sheets. "Jesus... what is this? Storytime?"

"As opposed to me beating the story out of you? It'd better be."

He laughed. "Now THAT is a threat." He took a big breath, slowing his paw down. "If you want a _real_ story, then ask me about the stag. All Finnick did was ask me for pot. Then he sent you, right?"

I nodded. "Fine. What about Halatheon?"

"Sit comfortably, Nicky, it's a little long."

* * *

 **It was only a little bit after I had to flee south, maybe a year ago?**

Eleven months.

 **Right, right. I traveled with a business associate of Big's I befriended. He pulled a few strings, and eventually hooked me up in a quiet little beach resort called "Luna Purpura"... I think... anyway, He helped me covertly exchange a few thousand dollars for whatever the hell they call their coins down there. After he flew back to Zootopia, I had a hotel suite to myself. Top floor, with a view of the ocean. Kinda like this room... just without the bars. Beautiful place... Ya know, It's where I woulda sent you, had you-**

Halatheon.

 **Yeah, yeah, I'm getting there. Eventually, I felt an itch, one that a cigarette on the beach after sex couldn't scratch. I wanted to be the ruler of that little resort, not like president, of course, but I wanted to be 'The doctor you go to if you want that special kick,' Ya know? There were already a few dealers and the sort. Not too hard to find, to be honest. I found a few without even looking for them, so I knew that they'd be easy to overthrow. I knew that the best way to break into and overthrow an expanding empire, was to be inside once that expansion starts, right? So I went to this gal selling on the side of a back alley road. I told her that I wanted 'something more' than just catnip, and after a couple days, she led me to the back of a surf shop and introduced me to her Pimp. His name was Lotus. Kind of a girly name for a drug lord, right?**

 **Well, girly name or no, Lotus was a good guy. Shame I eventually backstabbed him... Literally. I talked to him; and he opened up about his kids, after I did about you and Jamie. He gave me his trust, but I never gave him mine. Soon, after a visit or two, he asked me if I wanted to start helping out the business. I was overjoyed, naturally. Not because I was finally one of the cool kids, but because Lotus was playing right into my palms. His rule was 'no robbery.' We gave our customers exactly what they wanted. No cuts, no threats. Like a restaurant, in a sense. Well, fuck that rule. I would mug just about everyone I got the chance to do so to. After a month or two, I was the number one salesman. I would hide all of the products in my hotel suite, and hand in all the money I got out of robbery.**

 **Lotus grew close to me, unaware of my scheme. He trusted me, like I said, so he would never expect that I was actually manipulating his other salesman into** _ **my**_ **rules. They would continue selling, but would never turn profits into him. Only me, to then turn into him. I'm not entirely sure if it was my code of ethic, or my levels of productivity, but profits doubled. Lotus never knew. Then one day,** _ **shink**_ **!**

You killed him?

 **Ended one man's job to ignite another's dream, Nicky. Death is only a doorway to new ability.**

...

 **You disagree?**

I think death is exactly what it means. The cease of a life.

 **Well then, let me rephrase myself. One man's death is another man's birth into emporia.**

Somehow, that's even worse.

 **I never considered myself a good person, Nicky. Anyway, when Lotus was a corpse sinking in the water, all his 'employs' were ecstatic that I was the new leader. I had a real good gig down there. Soon, we got in trouble with the law; we had sold to the wrong guy, right? And the first law man to bust in the door of HQ was Halatheon. He was a security guard, then. Apparently, he knew about us ever since he found my stash, back in my room. It was embarrassing, I'll tell you that. Halatheon found it a few weeks before he busted us, interestingly enough, and he never told anyone.**

 **See, Halatheon is kinda like me, just without all the hate. He** _ **wanted**_ **us to make a firm business. But once the law tried to crawl in our asses, he told us to relocate. He was a good man... better than Lotus, anyway. Halatheon and I had a... well, yeah. We had a friendship. Purely based on 'I scratch his ass, he doesn't turn mine in.' and strangely enough, I didn't mind that. Not the scratching asses' part, but the fact that I had an insider. Someone who was working** _ **for**_ **the law, but who wouldn't think twice about shooting a fellow officer. Like that rhino.**

McHorn.

 **Hmm?**

His name was McHorn, Mitchel McHorn.

 **Whatever, Halatheon was my guy, and since I was helping him out with stuff, like women or weed, I was his. Eventually, He wanted to quit his job, to come and work permanently with me. I didn't want that, I finally had an edge over the 'true 'n blue'. After a lot of arguing, and I'll admit, I wanted to stab him a few times, we worked out a plan.**

 **See, I was planning on making my return to Zootopia and reuniting the Trio, but the heat might still be after me. So I figured if Halatheon could be my insider at the ZPD, then he would be able to turn the police's heads while we rose back to power. He and I could be partners – of sort – back home. He loved the idea, so we went for it. He joined how long after you did?**

I joined seven months after you left, and he came about... maybe two, after that?

 **Okay, that makes sense; I was up there a month later. That's how I got to your place so quick, Nicky. After Chuck called.**

Wait, you've been here two months? You never did anything?

 **Oh I did plenty, Nicky. Just nothing too... big. See, I heard about you being a cop. I figured that it was kinda like what Halatheon did, at the time. And with Chuck drinking himself mad, I knew the Trio was dead, and I had to start again.**

 **Chuck eventually figured it out too, and only started drinking more... God I hate drunks.**

Yeah. I remember what you did to that prostitute.

 **I still prefer 'filthy whore.' Anyway... He was my insider from then on, until Chuck found out about you and the ZPD. He got worried about you squealing about the Trio. I just had to make sure you wouldn't.**

I was worried _chuck_ would.

 **If the alcohol didn't kill his brain yet... at least your rabbit did, ah?**

She was aiming for you.

 **She missed.**

Try saying that without the ventilator.

 **Heh heh... Yeah, I'm kinda fucked, eh?**

* * *

He sighed, finished with his story, paw starting to dig _into_ the sheets, poking holes and grasping for the past. "But all in all, Halatheon was just another partner." He stiffly nodded.

I stood up from my seat and walked to the window, grabbing the bars and staring out at the ocean. "What ever happened to your little empire?"

"Who cares?" He grumbled. "It was just another chapter of my life, all of the 'employees' either moved on or took leadership for themselves. It's all behind me now."

I rested my chin on a bar. "Yet _our_ past wasn't? You were still ready to kill me at a moment's twitch."

"Yeah, well, if I was to start over, I couldn't have you or Chuck fucking things up for Halatheon and me."

We stayed still for a while. Not out of comfort, but out of what to move on to next. He was waiting for my next question, and I was him. Finally, I found one. "Why are... why do you do the things you do?"

He laughed. "What ever do you mean, son? You and I were one in the same."

I turned to face him, leaning against the window, crossing my arms in attempt for comfort. "No. I never hurt people, I just conned them."

He looked back at me, eyes studding my stature instead of my soul. "You were getting there. When I was a kid, I would pretend to bump into people in a crowd, but I would actually be stealing their wallets. Eventually, I was a goon to Mr. Big, and soon after, I met Lorene. She forced me to bottle everything up and be a father. But you know how that ended." He looked me in the eyes when he said that last part, scanning me for fear or sorrow at the thought of my mother. I looked at the floor.

"Well, why didn't you want to be a father, why did you go back to being... you know..."

"Evil?"

I nodded.

"Why do giraffes have long necks? Wouldn't it be more practical for evolution to shorten them? It sure would help them _fit in_ with society. Wouldn't it help if nature bent _my_ neck to fit it?" He spoke in a voice devoid of wheezing or stuttering, as if he didn't need his ventilator at all.

"You're blaming it on nature?" I ask, not looking up from the floor.

"I have a red mindset, Nicky. I can't help if society's is blue." He looked away, allowing my head to rise again.

I moved back to my chair and sat back down, resting my head in my paw. "You are what you are..."

"...And what I am, is unaccepted by the likes of you." He snorted through a smirk. His fingers were curling their own sections of the sheets now.

I took a deep breath, needing to force the question out before I gave up on asking it. "Why... Why did you kill... _her_?" I tensed up, covering my belly and neck, like he was about to attack me. Funny how he still had that apparatus though his pathetic and broken appearance.

"You mean Lorene?"

I briskly nodded.

He sat there for a while, in thought. His paw moving in and out of a hole he carved in the sheet. Finally, he opened his mouth in a sigh. "You know, I'm really not sure."

That was my limit. I jolted up, throwing the chair behind me, not caring about the loud clatter. "YOU FUCKER!" I screamed, forcing my arms to clench against my body so I wouldn't strangle him. All he shot at my rage was a smirk. Wild amusement at my urge to break his spine. "You _electrocuted_ her... That isn't just some 'oh shit, oops' moment!" I yelled.

He rolled his eyes to stare at me. "Then _you_ tell me why I killed her." He snarled.

With one paw, I grabbed the opposite side of my body, and with the other, I dug my fingers into the back of my neck, trying to calm myself down. The Timber Wolf outside must have never heard my outburst, as the door never opened. "If I had the _slightest_ clue... I wouldn't be here." I growled, wanting to run away from this monster. This monster and his power to manipulate and spawn hate inside of you, even though his status of dying on a hospital bed.

He dropped his smirk, paws slowing down, but never stopping their motion. "I... I really don't... I don't understand either, Nicky." He sighed; looking genuinely sad, while never retiring his menacing aura. "I... I loved her... more than anything..."

I dropped my arms, almost losing my sanity and feeling sorry for the demon. I pulled the chair back to me and sat down. "You did?" I asked, remembering all the times he visibly held back his screams at her, late at night when they thought Jamie and I were asleep.

"Yeah, more than I did running around in the Trio, or Luna Purpura, or anything." He tried to lift his arm to his face, but he recoiled in pain and grunted loudly. He was even starting to tear up. "She convinced me to try to change my life. I loved her for that. Someone who actually cared for me."

I could hardly believe he wasn't faking his hurt, but was honestly crying. In all my life, I had known this man as my father whom hated me and soon killed my mom, but never once did I see so much raw, saddening emotion in him. His eyes had never been a look into his desire, or his lust for love, always a reminder of what kind of monster he is. It was like witnessing the sun implode; impossible, incredible, and ludicrous to imagine... until it happens, then it's just bewildering.

"...And I killed her, Nicky..." He sniffed, his tears falling onto his pillow. "And I can't figure out why..."

I felt the same way as he did, I loved mom more than anything, and then Allister came and killed her, for no visible reason. I had no empathy for Thorn, but I finally felt for him, I understood a piece of his mind, albeit something cold and repressed. ' _Kill him.'_ I heard something whisper. _'You'd be taking more evil out than you put in, and that's what you want, right? Kill him.'_ It said. Maybe it was just my common sense again, but it was persuasive as all hell.

Allister finished crying, not attempting to wipe the water streaks across his face away, opting for his paw to instead continue drawing circles in the sheets. "Hell," He chuckled, trying to snap out of his tragic memory. "Maybe I'm just bipolar." He giggled hoarsely.

"You're fucking sick, is what I would call it."

"No objections here, Nicky. I've sunk too far to resurface."

"Is that the metaphor you told me about?"

"Yeah, it is. I'm sunk, but I'm pretty good at holding my breath. You aren't."

"I'm not the one pissing through a tube."

"You're drowning, Nicky."

 _Kill him, Nick._

His paw was still moving. "Drowning."

I stood up, and moved to a machine. If I turned them all off, I could kill him. Take more evil out than I put in, and all. The first to go would be the IV bags. "Well, it doesn't matter where I am anymore. Because it's _your_ time to drown, not mine. I need to be happy again."

He laughed. "You're going to kill me, ah?"

Not that it'll help much, but I nodded. "You already won, so what's the point in making sure you can't anymore?"

"You're right, Nicky." He coughed, wincing at the pain. "I did win. You know why?" He asked while I unplugged another machine. "Because yeah, one day, you _will_ be happy again. So will your rabbit, but every time you are, every time you smile, or feel warm towards a joke, or wake up next to her, you'll remember me. You will _always_ have my face in the back of your head, burning your happiness into a pulp faster and faster every time you smile." He posted a wicked grin across his lips. "Because you'll know that you've hurt too many people just for your own glee. That Judy hurt, even killed in cold blood, something cops are supposed to be to morally high to do, just for you. Your safety, your happiness, everything, just for _you_." I unplugged a third machine, causing an electric panel of digits to drop to a solemn zero "And one day, it'll tear you apart, the weight of someone else's love, the memory of your sins. The memory of me. You may be good at denial, but that's a _raindrop_ compared to the _maelstrom_ I unleashed on your life." He finished with a snarl. I pulled a needle out of his wrist and turned off his heartbeat monitor. I would only have a few seconds to do this.

"I know it will dad, but in the meantime, I'm killing what I never should have created." I spoke softly as I grabbed the thick tube running air to his mouth and squeezed hard. "If I can't take evil out of this world by suicide, then your corpse will be a damn fine second."

All he could do was spit out a laugh, devoid of all his spite, his intimidation, his cunning slur. He sounded defeated, something he had never been before. Looking like all of his victims, lying in hospital beds relying on thousands of dollars to stay alive, Allister Thorn Wilde could only force a final laugh. It made me feel powerful, like I had just slain a god.

"Fuck you, Nicholas. I'll see you soon... in hell..." He whispered coldly, struggling for air. That strange force, the same one that told me to kill him, made me look into his eyes. Not _at_ , never at, always _into_. His soul was decaying, but he still presented a shield of something darker. He was not scared, nothing could scare him. Not even death, but the pull of mortality down to a burning inferno gave the kick stronger than any earthly force, enough to crack that shield. Something impregnable, something indestructible, something _absolutely invincible_ crumbling before your eyes, all because of _your_ command... it was amazing.

"Give Halatheon my regards, faggot." That was all I retorted. It was all I needed to. His bright eyes hit a wall, falling cloudy on a nanosecond, and then rolling back into his head, closed forever by his eyelids, never again to see the horror their owner inflicted on the world again. Thorn was dead, and I killed him. His arm fell limp, his paw to never move again. To no longer grasp for what he carelessly wasted.

Love and happiness, a family... Lorene Wilde.

I couldn't feel myself anymore, and I could barely see straight. I hurriedly put the machines back in sync, and was just finished pushing the needle back into Allister's dead arm when the doctors and nurses rushed into the room. They pushed me out the door as they warmed up the defibrillators. Outside, the Timber wolf was gone. Not that I was too occupied with looking for him, I was in a B-line for the bathroom. Once inside, I made sure everybody was gone, and then threw up in a toilet.

Jesus, I could barely taste anything, I could barely see anything, either. All I felt was cold. Cold everywhere. I killed him... I killed Dad...

No. The monster inside of dad killed him. I just killed the monster. And all I could feel... was cold. Is this how Judy felt? Did she enjoy killing Charlie? She killed him for _my_ protection... I killed to stop a monstrosity. If she felt cold in killing for a gross cause... then why did I feel cold for a noble one?

I never hurt anybody before... at least not physically... I felt cold... I felt powerful...

I threw up again. Was this Allister's experience? He said he started off small... was he like this before he was comfortable with murder? Is this his transformation?

"I won't let it be mine..." I said aloud, heaving at the taste finally collecting in my mouth. I stood up, brushed myself off, and walked out of the stall. Still alone.

Turning on the sink, I washed my face with warm water in hope of restoring my senses. Nothing. I looked up and into the mirror, and...

I looked funny. I looked controlled, confidant... like... like I had won. The fox looking back at me was smiling, and I couldn't feel it... He was smiling because he killed Allister Thorn. He wasn't broken anymore, he killed his demon... and he learned how to swim.

Suddenly, all emotion and feeling rushed into me like blood through veins. I felt myself smiling, and I heard myself laughing. Laughing at how _easy_ that all was. Allister Thorn, the monster who killed my mother, the man who stole my only chance to be happy, the _bastard_ who destroyed my soul... died with a simple squeeze.

Even if I'm to never be free of his memory... I killed him. I took the evil out of the world, and now I knew I'd never put any more in.

Damn this feels warm.

The door to the bathroom swung open, standing there was the Timber Wolf. "Officer Nicholas Wilde?"

I smiled even wider. Even if they found out I killed him, I wouldn't care. I won. "Speaking." I looked at him, and he was smiling too.

"She's awake."

* * *

 **Judy**

* * *

"You understand what I just told you?" The raccoon doctor dressed in a sweater vest asked me, to which I nodded.

I took a deep breath, recalling his speech. "Prosthetic foot, one and a half thousand." I didn't really care about my foot, as I was still in shock that I was alive. "But please, about Nick,"

The doctor raised a paw. "Officer Hopps, please, you should really wait for a few hours before-" The door swinging open cut him off. Standing in the archway, dressed in old dark colors hiding his dirty matted fur visible only above his neck, was Nick. When he saw me, He exploded in vibrant happiness.

"Judy!" He yelled, running to me.

I leaned up and stuck out my arms, letting him catch my body in a warm hug. "Nick! I love you... I love you!" I felt myself tearing up, feeling his fur against my neck after all of this was incredible. He twisted his head to kiss me franticly, whispering his love back to me.

The raccoon let out an exaggerated sigh, visibly upset. "I'll give you an hour." He started to walk out of the room, but caught himself and looked back at us. "Just don't... _do_ , anything." He scolded. Nick might not have heard him, but I did. I casually lifted my middle finger to him, excusing him to leave.

After a few minutes of hugging and kissing, Nick let go of me and sat down on the bed. "I just... I really can't... wow." Was all he said though happy sobs. "I'm really, REALLY glad you're not dead." He laughed.

I nodded, still crying. "Yeah, me too." I know it was just a joke, but I really meant that. I would have instantly given my life for Nick, but I was glad I could see him smile one last time before I did.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "I don't know how to say this... but uh, well... Thank you. I know what this means, and I... Holy shit, Judy." He grinned, looking dreamily back at me, but all that did was make me nod solemnly. He looked shocked. "I didn't, shit... I mean..."

I hugged him again. "It's okay Nick, it was just a short coma... I'm alive." I whispered to him.

"No... Your foot..." He sighed, hugging me back. I nodded, and hugged him harder.

"It's just a foot, fox. Nothing compared to my life." I pulled away slightly, and kissed him. "I still get to see you." I said warmly once the kiss was done... god I missed the feeling of his lips on mine... It reminded me why I went gunning for the Trio in the first place.

Nick's smile drooped into a frown, and his tears picked up. "It's my fault... You would still be... I shouldn't have lied." He huffed, shifting himself into a slouch.

"No, Nick... it's not your fault... I was the one who... who shot Chuck... It's my fault this happened..." I hugged him again, trying to exude my warmth into him.

He shook his head, placing his paws over mine. "No... It if wasn't for me... I should have never..." He started to cry again, tears of pure sorrow over happiness or strength for my status.

"Nick, listen to me. It was-"

"I killed him." He said abruptly.

"What?" I pulled back, not out of fear, but confusion. Was he talking about Chuck? ... McHorn?

He looked at me and smiled his iconic smile, telling me that he was happy. "Allister Thorn Wilde... formally my father, currently a corpse in a hospital bed." He spoke softly and warmly, as if he hadn't been crying a few seconds ago. "I killed him."

It took me a while before I could speak, as I was shocked at his reveal. I didn't care how he did it, or how he found the strength, but I did know one thing; I was glad _he_ did it, and not me. "Good." I said seriously, to match his mood. He nodded.

We sat quietly for a few minutes more, until he spoke. "Remember back at your apartment? When I told you about that 'submerged or sinking' metaphor?"

I nodded. "Allister said that you're sinking, right?"

"Yeah, and you asked me if I knew how to swim?" I nodded again. "I think I'm doing that now. Swimming, that is." He sighed and looked at me with a cocky grin about him. "Feels pretty good." We laughed and hugged again. I was happy Nick was feeling better about the whole thing, now that it was over. The only thing left... the aftermath. Well, better to bring it up sooner than later.

"Nick... You know I'm not getting let off the hook for this." I sighed to him, sitting up next to him, letting my legs dangle off the bed. Nick eyed the gauze wrapped around my stubbed leg quickly, then shot his gaze elsewhere.

"Yeah, I know." His sigh was only to remind me that he had also run through the possibilities. "You could plead self-defense. Say something like, 'you went after Halatheon, and they just happened to shoot first.'"

I nodded, but his mention of Halatheon really caught my attention. "Speaking of that... Is Halatheon still lose?"

Nick nodded, placing an arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him. "Yeah, but everyone's out looking for him. Even Finnick, If you can believe it." He half chuckled, half groaned. "But if anyone can find the bastard... It'll be Finnick."

I nodded, still a bit untrusting of the fox. He helped me and all, but if he was hunting Halatheon, then it was for Nick. And if we're really trying to shake all of Nick's past off of him, then I don't want Finnick trying to manipulate Nick anymore. "With Chuck and Allister gone... you don't think Halatheon will try for his own Trio?"

Nick flared his nostrils, obviously upstirred at the thought. "No... It was Allister who was always trying to keep up an empire. With him dead... Halatheon should know to run. To run and never return." I nodded at his response, almost intoxicated off the feeling of his chest rising against my head. He felt so warm. Always so warm.

I took another deep breath, ready to ask the question I wanted to ever since we had sex three days ago. "Nick... If you're ready for it... Do you think you could explain to me... well, yeah. Everything?"

"Everything?" He chuckled.

"If you're ready."

He sighed. "Lye back down, this might take a while."

* * *

 **Well, from the beginning?**

Preferably.

 **Hmm-hmm. Well, alright. When I was nine, I wanted to join the Junior Rangers, right?**

Yeah, you told me the other scouts bullied you.

 **Right. Well, after I tried to run away from home, due to that little charade, Thorn found me, just by driving around a little. I saw him and hopped in the car, expecting to be taken home, but... He pulled over and asked me why I was running. I told him, and he got angry. Like,** _ **really**_ **angry. He started screaming about how 'I was a predator amongst prey, and should be able to stand up and fight for myself.' Finally, his yelling got to the point where it started to scare me. Then he just kept going on, and on, and on. I was crying, and huddled up in fear. Finally he screamed at me to get out of the car. I didn't, so he smashed the side of my head against the door. He pushed me out and drove away.**

 **Well, I was hungry, and cold. So I decided that running away would be a horrible idea, so I went home, and that was an even horribler Idea. Is that a word?** _ **Horribler**_ **? Well, anyway... My brother Jamie had already run away about a month prior to that, so he was out. Mom... well, my Mom was drunk and cursing at the top of her lungs at him... Thorn, I mean. She's not a heavy drinker; I mean a glass of wine at dinner was rare for her. But she must have been depressed. Anyway, I saw Allister hit her, so I ran. I ran away from home.**

 **I was on my own for way too long, and eventually, it was my nineteenth birthday. Funny how time flies, eh? Well, I met Finnick. He was... maybe twenty two then? His parents kicked him out, because he had fake credit cards in his van, so he was on the streets. I got wrapped up in trying to snatch his wallet, but he caught me. Now, I don't really remember how, I think he hit me and felt kinda bad about it, but he and I became friends. Like, actual friends, not just the partnership you saw us parade, I even slept in his van most of the time. Things were going swimmingly, until I met Thorn again.**

 **Finnick and I smoked a lot of catnip back in the day; it was primarily what we spent our money and time on. Soon, we ran out, and when our dealer was caught, we had to switch. He said that this rising empire led by another fox was reliable, so I went for it. Allister Thorn was held up behind a strip club, in a VIP room of sorts. When he saw me, he was excited. It was the first time in a decade he saw his son. Well, I was scared, seeing as how he was the exact reason I ran away. He gave me the catnip, and acted all friendly, but when I came back for more, he told me that I'd have to 'do him a solid.' He sent me to negotiate with who** _ **he**_ **was buying the drugs off of. A cheetah named Chuck.**

 **Well, one of Thorn's goons was this big Asian tiger, and he was some undercover agent or something, for another gang. He followed me to Chuck's place, and started shooting at us. I found out later that Chuck had this side business as a 'Rug Salesman' with all his rugs being crafted from only the 'finest wool'.**

Skunk ass?

 **You remember Mr. Big's, then.**

How could I forget? I'm Fru Fru's daughter's godmother!

 **Oh right.**

Stupid fox.

 **Let me finish... Well, anyway, the gang of tigers were pissed at Chuck, so they tried to kill him. Chuck has never been the best in a fight, so I had to save him. I took him back to Allister to explain why we lost the catnip. Thorn was pissed, but Charlie was pretty grateful. Eventually, he talked Thorn into a gang, just the three of us. Allister, Chuck, and I. They came up with the genius name "The Trio." Must of taken them all night, I tell you.**

 **But we were exactly as we sounded. Just the three of us. No bodyguards, no number twos, just us. It started off alright, with simple dealing and cons with Chuck... but soon it got bad... really bad. Allister always had this drive for destruction, this need to break more than he created. He wanted to be the supreme kingpin of the underworld, not just another two-bit mob boss. So he went to Mr. Big for a loan.**

 **Somehow, and I'm not sure of what yet, I may never be, but Allister was a business associate of Big's, back before even the latter was married. They were almost friends. So Thorn took us to meet him, and I'll be honest. Of all my days before I met you, that was by far the best one. I was happy, I felt welcome. He was ecstatic to meet the son of Thorn. His Grandma even made us cannoli. I loved it.**

 **However, it soon came time for the question. Allister asked for a loan, and Big said no. Thorn doesn't like it when people say no to him, so he exploded. He broke a lot of expensive stuff, and almost attacked a polar bear guard. Big was just about to kick us out, when Chuck made him an offer. One 'genuine' wool rug, for fifty k. Big saw it as fair, after I helped Chuck with the pitch. So with our money, albeit, not too much, we set off. Allister was glad he had the money, but was upset – yes, actually upset – that we helped him get it. He always had a god complex over us.**

 **Time went by, and we had grown quite a bit. Allister handled all of the bigger stuff, like hits or rival gangs, while Chuck and I stuck to cons. What Finnick had taught me didn't translate too well to Chuck, who preferred sales. Drugs, guns, knives... all that sort. I remember I threw myself in front of a car once, just to have the guy pay for what he thought to be the medical fine... Well, I broke my leg, so it actually ended up being a medical fine. But my whole point is; I was starting to hate the Trio, and I wanted back in with Finnick.**

 **Then one night... the Trio was out all at once, walking to an exchange, when we took this shortcut through an alley. In there was a prostitute... a drunken one... well, to get to the point, Thorn just about tore her head off... there was so much screaming... and blood...**

 **I was scared. So I did the only reasonable thing in my mind. I knew Thorn would be ready to kill me at the bat of an eye, so I couldn't run away... so I went to the ZPD. I left an anonymous note on the windshield of one of the cars, and then tried to go into hiding. Thorn, however, wanted me to collect a dead drop package full of cash, with us never getting to the deal the other night. I found the dead drop, but instead of taking it... well, I gave it back to the guy. I tracked him down and gave him the money back.**

 **When I got back to HQ and saw that the ZPD weren't there yet, I was worried. Well, to make matters worse, Thorn texted me to come home.** _ **Home**_ **, something he never called HQ. He meant my childhood house. So I did... and there, was where he killed...**

 **Well... That's where he tied my mother down... and electrocuted her to death, screaming at me to tell him where the money was. I told him it wasn't there, but the guy I returned it to, named Michael, had already told Thorn he got the money back. So Allister was killing Mom just to torture me... he already knew where the money was... he just wanted to kill... to kill her...**

Okay, Nick. That's enough... I th-

 **No. No, there's still a bit more. Allister found out that the police were after him, so he flew south for a little while... that's maybe eleven months before you and I met.**

 **Finnick was pissed off when I came back to him, our friendship dead. He still wanted to be partners, however. And Chuck... Chuck took up drinking, and I didn't talk to him ever again... well, until you and I arrested him, that is. But that's it. That's everything.**

* * *

I was still sitting uncomfortably when he finished, paws folded in my lap. "Nick... I'm so sorry..." I wrapped myself around him in a hug again, digging my face into his neck. His paw was drawing circles in the bed sheets below us.

He wiped a tear with his free paw, and then hugged me again. "It's all gone now... It's all gone..." We sat holding each other for what felt like half an hour, so warm and comfortable next to each other's bodies, we almost fell asleep. Finally he spoke again; "So what about _us_? After the dust settles, I mean."

I let go of him and rubbed my ears. "Well... I don't think I'm a cop anymore..." I chuckled, fortunately, he did too. "But... Is it too crazy to want to move in together? Pool our money and all, buy a small house..." I let my voice grow quiet when he wasn't responding.

To my utter joy, he turned at smiled at me. "Somewhere along the ocean?"

I nodded, tearing up again.

He nodded to, lying his back down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. "I like the ocean. Let's do that." He beamed at me, motioning for me to lie down with him, which I happily accepted.

God fucking dammit, I love him.

* * *

 **Author's Nonsense**

 **AHHHHH that's it. (Actually, not really, there's an epilogue.) But seriously, Thank you guys for sticking with me through this, and sorry AGAIN for the hiatus. But the story's done! It's finished! (Read the epilogue) I feel like there could have been a few changes I should have made, but all in all, I like this story.**

 **Did you? If not, then why did you read all of it? And if you did, what the hell is wrong with you? You could have been reading something by Stephen King, or Mario Puzo or something, why the hell did you waste your time here?**

 **Well, regardless of your reasons, thanks for riding along!**

 **Well, thanks again, I'm weighing pros and cons for a sequel, but you might be cringing at that idea.**

 **THANK YOU AGAIN!**

 **~Krypt (formally DrMcPacco*)**

 ***I don't know why I changed my name either.**

 **Penis.**


	8. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 **Judy**

It's been six years since all of it. All of the lies, all of the betrayal, the suicide attempt, the murders, and the death of Allister Thorn Wilde. I was stripped of my badge, after I admitted to opening fire on the cheetah, killing him in the process. They tried to pin the eventual death of Thorn on me, but that was ruled out in court, his death proved to be caused by a difference force. They suspected an IV bag mix up, but I knew the real killer of Allister Thorn. He was my husband.

Nick and I bought a small quiet house right along the ocean line, with a beautiful view of the sunset every night. We bought it a month or two before my imprisonment. I was let off with a "humble" five years with no chance of parole for my honesty. However, I was never allowed to work in law enforcement or for the city ever again. I threw away my dream and my left foot for him. And I would do it all again.

Just for him.

Just for Nick Wilde.

I loved him, and he loved me just the same.

"Alright. Thanks for breakfast; it wasn't half as bad as yesterdays." He smiled at me as he stood up, setting his plate in the sink next to the table.

I chuckled. "Watch yourself, fox. I'm a stay at home wife now; I know a thing or two about poison." He got the joke, and waved goodbye as he left out the door. He was still an officer, and a damn good one at that. He was always understanding, noble, and generous. A little more 'pope' than 'ZPD officer.'

After I was let go of prison – and my family stopped scolding me – I took up the occupation of a writer. Nothing major yet, but I've gotten a few short stories published. Most are abridged versions of what happened to Nick and me. I had his permission to write about it of course, as I wouldn't want to be the 'freaks' on the block.

All in all, our life was nice and quiet, nice and slow. No more shooting, no more yelling... just love. And I wouldn't give it up for anything. I knew Nick felt just the same.

Speaking of which, the door opened again as Nick strolled inside, wearing his adorable aviators. "Okay, first off, sorry I left without a smooch," He leaned over the table and kisses me softly on the forehead. "And second, I let another apple rot in my car. I'm like the fruit kryptonite." He tossed a rotting apple core into the trash can next to the counter.

"Kryptonite?"

He nodded slowly, like he had just said something stupid. Which he did. "Yeah, why?"

I laughed. "Kryptonite is a _weakness_ , not just bad luck." I playfully scolded.

He shrugged, moving towards the door. "Well excuse me for not being as big a fan of video games as you, _Mrs._ Wilde."

I stood up and walked over to the door, closing him behind it. "The superman games all suck, Nick." I shut the door before he could comeback with something else stupid. I love that little idiot.

My nose twitched as I caught the scent of the rotting fruit. "Why didn't you throw it away _outside_ , stupid fox..." I wondered aloud as I moved to the trash.

 _Click,_ creak.

 _Click,_ creak.

The sounds my feet made on hardwood floors always irritated me. It reminded me that ill always be different. Even if I lost it for a noble cause, I would still always be considered an abnormality. But I was okay with that.

And Nick though I was perfect, and that's all I want.

As I reached the can, and stood above it, I noticed the apple had land upright. No flies, no scratch or scar. If it wasn't for the color and smell, it looked symmetrical... almost...

I reached in and grabbed it, holding it up to my face. It smells horrible, but it looked... like...

I took a bite out of the top of it, letting the old, grimy fluid flush down and into my mouth, purging any flavor of eggs left over from breakfast. It tasted horrible, but I couldn't spit it out... I didn't _want_ to spit it out. I swallowed, gasping for air afterwards.

That was horrible, it tasted like...

Taboo...

One second thought... It tasted...

It tasted good... _really_ , good.


End file.
